Thursday, October 21, 2010

going through changes.

A lot has changed in the past nine days since the last time I did this whole blogging thing. Remember that time that life is speeding past me and I can't even see it most of the time? These nine days are proof that it's actually happening. Here's the nut-shell version of my life since then.

As you know, I now have a job. YAY! My first day was Monday, October 18, 2010. The good news: I love it...now. The not-so good news: my first day was quite possibly the worst first day of work in the history of worst first days. Through all of it, the Lord has really been opening up my eyes to things that I've never had to deal with. My heart has been broken many times since my first day (and I am certain that it will only continue to break as time goes on), but there is one thing I know for certain: I am exactly where I need to be in this season of my life. My eyes have been opened up to a whole lot of things in four short days, and I can finally say that I am thankful for every bit of it. Some things are still riding heavy on my heart, but that's just one of those things that comes along with growing up I guess.

Did I mention that I have a full-time job where I work 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday? Ummmm, weird. It still boggles my brain to think that I am an adult. I mean, I've always pretended to be an adult my whole life, but to actually be one...now that's pretty serious. Nearly every penny that I make is going into the "I'm getting married!" fund, which is just another thing that reminds me that I'm a big girl now. It's both exciting and scary all wrapped into one, but I keep assuring myself of one thing over and over again: the Lord will provide. He always does, and this transition period of my life is no different than all the others. I am developing an entirely new definition of thankfulness with each passing day, and it continually rocks my world.

There are so many things that I have grown accustomed to and taken for granted for so long, and the Lord has really been cleaning out all of my closets, even ones I honestly didn't know I had. He's preparing me for the rest of my life, which could be ten years down the road or it could just be tomorrow. I know what the obvious preparations are for, but if I've learned anything in these past four days of being a K-4 teacher at City Kids Child Development, it's that life comes at you fast. Things are always changing and they're not always what they seem. As simple of a concept as that is, I find myself forgetting the weight of it.

There are so many things that I'm planning for that are coming in the next months and the next years, but what about the things that will happen later on today? Or tomorrow? I want to grab life as it comes, taking every single moment in for what it's worth. Nothing more, nothing less. Seeing each fleeting second as precious and irreplaceable. Being a light to everyone around me by simply hiding behind the one true light.

"Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust." -Psalm 40:4

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