Sunday, September 9, 2018

fifteen years.

Fifteen years.

More than half of my life.

That's how long I've loved my Teesh.
Sure, we didn't know much about love back then, but there is no mistaking or denying how I felt about him. From passing notes in seventh grade math class to becoming boyfriend and girlfriend in ninth grade in the hallway after school. From high school to college. From an engagement to a wedding. From marriage to parenthood. We've been through lots of seasons hand-in-hand, each simultaneously getting easier and harder, but none of it would mean anything without each other.

Our relationship hasn't been and still isn't perfect. But somehow, I believe through the grace of God, we've managed to press into each other in sunshine and in rain, in certainty and confusion, in all of it. We've always had a strong connection to one another, really since the first day we met when we were just twelve years old, which is a major miracle. A miracle I don't take for grated or would ever trade in for anything else in this whole, wide world. And I know that we'll always share this pull towards each other -- as long as we keep pursuing it.
Fifteen years ago, I was a fourteen year-old girl who had been waiting for months to become TJ Bargeron's girlfriend (THE TJ Bargeron, you guys!). And on this day, all those years ago, a new season began. A season that we're still in: young and in love. We still share a large cherry coke and a large popcorn every time we go to the movies, we still wish each other a "Happy 3:49!" every time we notice it on the clock (the exact moment he asked me to be his girlfriend; yes, I checked the clock), we still enjoy a good round of mini golf every so often, we still have dance parties to 2000s pop, we still fight about a lot of the things we've always fought about, we still have a hard time forgiving each other over certain things, we still would rather be angry together than happy anywhere else, and we are still absolutely, positively crazy about each other.
Fifteen years is a lot of years.

And yet, somehow it feels like it's only been a second since I first gave my nervous "yes" to the boy I had both secretly and not-so secretly liked for almost two years. It wasn't that long ago that we were two young love birds who went on chaperoned dates with his big sister, gave awkward side hugs, and stayed up all night for months and months talking on our house phones. Time passes so quickly, which is all the more reason to linger on every single moment.
Although we're still babies in a lot of ways, we've changed a lot, too. And praise be to God that we've given each other space to grow and mature and become. I think that's what real love is all about -- growing and maturing and becoming alongside of each other, always saying yes to what's next instead of staying hung up on what came before. I'll always be grateful for the purity, innocence, selflessness, resilience, endurance, and patience that is in the DNA of who we are as a unit, because those things have followed us into adulthood, into each new season we enter into.

Together, we are unstoppable. We are unique. We are a dream team. We are blessed.

Yep, that last part is where I'll park my heart and mind today -- reflecting on all the blessings we have received since September 9th, 2003. Fifteen years of being we. You and me. Me and you.

Us.

That's my favorite thing about the memories we've made -- making them together.
Happy anniversary to the boy-turned-man who will always hold my heart, have my love, tempt me to punch a hole in the wall, and make me weak in the knees. In a life that tempts so often with regret, God has used him, my Teesh, to protect me from more than I even realize. Even on our worst days, I think our love story and life together is better than anything Disney could write.

And y'all know how I feel about Disney.
"Don't allow yourselves to be weary or disheartened in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you've planted is coming!"
-Galatians 6:9 (TPT)

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