then and now | plus two.

My arms have grown a whole lot in three years, and so has my heart. You guessed it -- the two little ones who call me Mommy are to thank for that.

My "first baby" looks more like his daddy every day, baseball hat and all, and I love watching him be so sweet to his baby sister. My "second baby" loves to snuggle and is starting to pay more attention to the things going on around her, especially her wild and crazy big brother.

When I first began this journey of motherhood, I had no idea how I would be so in love, so stretched, so tired, and so thankful. In just three years time, most of my expectations have been surpassed, in both the really good and the really difficult, and I'm slowly learning to just let things happen. I certainly don't have this thing figured out, but we get into a rhythm that fits our family more each day. The best things that have ever happened to Teesh and me are the ones who look to us for their daily needs, and we spend lots of time thanking God for so carefully crafting the plans He had (and still has) for us.

His plans -- though different than the ones we initially had for ourselves -- continue to unfold in beautiful, miraculous ways. I don't know that I'd be as grateful as I am today had we not walked through the fire with Him, so even for the fire -- yes, even when it burned and left scars -- we say thank you.

We will always, always say thank you.

plus one more.

It's no secret that our favorite place to make memories is in the great outdoors. Back in 2012, Teesh and I formally established a new family tradition where we made unplugging on the trail a natural rhythm of our time together. This tradition has gotten more tricky since adding a couple of kiddos to our crew, but it has given us opportunities to both simplify our expectations and push ourselves to new limits.

Braxton was about three months old when we took him on his first hike, and this particular hike is special to us because it was the last one we did as a family of two AND the first one as a family of three. So, it was appropriate that our first hike as a family of four be at the same little loop, too.

This one was the sweetest one yet, because my mind was flooded with so many memories. Our family has grown so much since we were newlyweds with the world at our fingertips, and I'm so grateful for it. We're still chasing after our dreams while simultaneously trying to teach and encourage our children have dreams of their own, and it's our greatest adventure yet. And we especially want them to know that the best place to dream is in wide open spaces, where you can disconnect with the world for a while and hear the Father speak more clearly.

Little Miss snoozed through the whole hike, snuggled close to my chest, but she did wake up just as we were walking to the playground to let her brother use up more energy (because even after walking a mile on his own feet, he still had exponential amounts to use up -- CRAY CRAY!). One day, in the blink of an eye, she will be walking the trails on her own feet, too -- just like her big brother. But for now, I will enjoy toting her around while she listens to my heart beat.

Oh, if days like this would last and last and last.

I'm proud as can be for the opportunity to both show her the world and teach her how to make the world hers. I'm going to try my best to give her the world, too. And to always tell her how much brighter she made our world when she was born.

painting party.

Give this boy a paint brush and he goes to town like Picasso. He got several craft projects for Christmas, and we finally broke into one of them last week. Oh, he was so happy! I snapped pictures, Bethany watched her big brother's creative juices flow from her bouncy seat, and Teesh got home just in time to see him put the finishing touches on it.

Our monster truck loving boy was in heaven this day, so careful to cover as much of it in blue as he could. "Like Leo, Mommy!" he would say with a proud smile on his face. And I grinned right back at him with my whole heart, just like I always do.

a girl and her boys.

Our sweet girl stole the show the minute she was born. Two boys, especially, think she's the best thing ever, and I love watching how gentle they are with her. I like to sit back a bit and take in every interaction they have with her, from kisses and smiles to dancing for her in hopes that she will smile back.

One night, in particular, she was so content to just lay on her daddy's chest. She laid there the whole time she was awake between naps, and I kept giggling at Teesh over how much pride and love was written all over his face. This scene immediately took me back to when he would hold Braxton around this time three years ago, making my heart swell until it nearly exploded.

It really is amazing when prayers become reality before your eyes, and we are living in the midst of God's faithfulness in ways we never have until now.

Nope, there is nothing sweeter for me than witnessing the man I've loved for half my life love the ones who call me Mommy. Nothing in the whole, wide world.

sleeping beauty.

Sleep was not a friend of little miss until she was about eight weeks old. It was really more like an enemy. I would put her down in her crib, where she would immediately start crying screaming, and I’d stand outside of her room crying with her. And praying. Yes, lots and lots of prayers have been lifted since she started fighting sleep as soon as we brought her home, asking God to: first, to calm her when I couldn't, and second, to give us the patience to endure this season of rowdy sleeplessness.

She's nearly fourteen weeks old now, and those sleepless days and nights are mostly gone. This genuinely sleepless season lasted, in total, for about ten weeks. During those ten weeks, I seriously thought I might drop dead from exhaustion at any second (something I'm sure all parents can relate to on some level). And now that I'm on the other side of it, I've got a new perspective on storms, trials, and endurance. I was constantly reminded, by both the Holy Spirit and dear friends, to shift my perspective and view this season in light of eternity. In one of the loneliest seasons I can remember, I've never been more thankful for those few people who constantly checked on me, dropped by unexpectedly with food and a hug, sent me text messages just to say they loved me, and prayed for me and our family. They helped me press on through what felt like a fog of darkness with no end in sight.

Our girl is worth it, she always has been. Yes, I'm thankful to be on the other side of that season, a season which is so brief in light of all the days we will have with her, Lord willing. But in a wacky sort of way, it's bittersweet to move to the next season. Isn't it always?

I used to sneak in watch her big brother sleep all the time, and I'm already doing the same for her. We all endured a lot to transition from restless to rested, so sneak in I will.

I mean, a sleeping babe is pretty much the closest thing to heaven while earthside. Listening to her breathe, watching her tiny tummy rise and fall -- these little moments are the big moments.

they see me rollin'.

Braxton got a brand new balance bike for Christmas, and he's been tearing up the road with it since! I did lots of research on the best started bikes for kiddos, and ultimately decided that a balance bike was the route we should take. He is already racing around like a professional, and I'm usually running alongside of him to see who will win the race. We spend lots of time just out in the driveway (perfect for when baby sister naps), but we also take frequent trips downtown and have even done some trail biking with one of his little buddies.

The best part is seeing his eyes light up with pride when he gets going fast or when he picks his feet up for long periods. He will loudly exclaim, "Look, Mommy! Look what I can do!" and I always cheer and dance in joy. I love watching him try new things and succeed at them, I suppose I will forever. And when he crashes, many times head first, I go to him and simply encourage him to stand back up and shake it off. My response to him is so crucial to his response, in both the good and not so good things he does, and I've found this especially true when he gets hurt. Teaching him to be tough and get back up when he falls while still showing compassion and empathy has proved to be a pretty good method so far. I think we'll stick with it!

We are so proud of our brave little dare devil. His resilience and capability to thrive at new things is inspiring! We learn so much from our big boy.

bath time with two.

Big brother always asking to help rinse his baby sister, always telling her stories with his toys, always being so careful with her. Bath times have changed a lot since we first began this journey of parenthood three years ago -- mostly sweet with a dash of chaos.

These moments are what make up our days, and I often just sit back and watch our two learn each other. I'm a proud, proud mama. I'm, also, a mama who nearly loses her mind a dozen times a day, but that's another story for another day. The hard moments make the sweet moments -- like this one -- even sweeter.