reality check.

Read this.

Now pray. Pray for healing. Pray for comfort. Pray for change. Pray for forgiveness. Pray for support. Pray for rest. Pray for dependence on the only One brings all of these things. Beg and plead.

I heard about this tragedy on Saturday morning, and my heart is still shattered in a million pieces at this very moment. For so many reasons, really, but mostly because it reminds me just how much evil there is in the world. Pure, heartless evil. I just can't wrap my mind around how things like this happen.

I live in my safe little house in my safe little town with my safe little family. I worship my Jesus regardless of where I am or the circumstances I'm in, but can I honestly say that I'm persecuted. Sure, I'm mocked and most people usually don't understand the things I do, but the word "persecution" is definitely not what comes to mind. Being ridiculed for the sake of Jesus is not the same as being murdered because you carry his name. That's pretty tough for me to swallow. Really, really tough.

The devil is on the move. Constantly. And he's smart, too. We underestimate the influence he has on this earth. But the truth is that he IS real and he is WAY more powerful than we are on our own. He rules over our world, and he rules over most of our hearts. There is only one person stopping him from completely ruining everything this world has to offer, and that person is the son of the Almighty God who created it.

People are suffering all over the world. Dying. Agonizing. And I'm, what? Being teased for smiling so much? And never getting drunk? And being a virgin on my wedding night?

That almost sound silly, doesn't it? Absolutely.

I believe with all my heart that all of those things are important, but when do I take it to the next level? Will I ever?

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"

Matthew 16:24-26

we need each other.

"It's about seeing who a person really is and calling him out to be that person."

"We birth life in others by inviting them into deeper realms of healing, to deeper walks with God, to deeper intimacy with Jesus."

"It is a great gift to know that you see as another sees, an immense pleasure to be understood, to enjoy the easy companionship of one you can let your guard down with."

"When God gives a friend, he is entrusting us with the care of another's heart. It is a chance to mother and to sister, to be a Life giver, to help someone else become the woman she was created to be, to walk alongside her and call her deep heart forth."

"Honest communication in love is the only way to live and grow in friendships."

"You can only have one, two, maybe three intimate friends in your life at any given time. That's just the way of the heart. There is room for more dear friends, but they are a little further out, in the next circle, like Jesus' twelve. Close, but not the ones you would call in need in the middle of the night. And then there are your acquaintances, loose friendships, as Jesus had in the other disciples. It is natural and good to have circles of friendship. Friends will move from one circle to the other, but you can't possibly sustain intimacy with everyone. That said, you also don't want to have intimacy with none. Jesus desires it with us, and he understands that we need it with others as well. He made us that way."

That's just a little taste of all the richness we read in the most recent chapter of Captivating. My favorites. The ones I highlighted/underlined/circled just so I wouldn't miss the importance in each of them.

I am thankful for my friends. Every single one of them. Without friends, I'd absolutely, positively be crazy by now. I think it's pretty fun to look back on all the friends I've had over the years. Some of which I'm still friends with today. Others only lasted for a season in my life, but they still made marks on my heart that I'll never forget.

Don't forget to be thankful for your friends. Especially your very best ones. There's nothing like them in this whole world. It would be a tragedy for us to believe they were any less than that.

You need them and they need you and it's beautiful.

Believe it.

look, ma! I'm a real teacher!

I've been working at City Kids Child Development Center for about four and a half months now as a K-4 "teacher's aide," as they call it. For those of you who know anything about me, this job has been the hardest one I've ever had for many, many reasons. I've really struggled with being content where I am, and it wasn't until about a month ago that I truly gave over all my crazy emotions/feelings/discontent with it over to the Lord.

Then, last week, they called me into the office. Honestly, my first thought was "what have I done to a kid now?" because I've been accused by two different children on three different occasions of choking them and pinching their faces. Yes, that really happened. So, anyways, I got called into the office, and instead of giving me bad news, I actually received some rather incredible news. They offered me my very own classroom with my own four year-olds AND the 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. shift. Can you say THE LORD IS GOOD? Because He TOTALLY is! Fact: working until 6 p.m. every Monday through Friday was horrid. Absolutely horrid. I was never able to enjoy my evenings because it was already dark by the time I got off. Jesus definitely answers prayers, because you can bet I prayed to be able to enjoy my evenings again for months! I'm telling you, I don't think I've ever been so excited about an answered prayer.

I know I'm at City Kids for a reason. And I'm pretty sure that all of those reasons have already been revealed to me at some point or another. The only thing standing in the way of me enjoying my job has been me all along. Isn't it funny how soon after I completely gave the situation over to the Lord, I was given such a huge blessing? The Lord is faithful. He wants us to ask him for what we want. He wants us to believe that He will deliver. And He wants us to believe that we'll always be protected by Him love and mercy.

So, I start my new hours tomorrow! 6 a.m. is going to come WAY early, but all I've got to say is BRING IT ON! Come 4 o'clock tomorrow afternoon when I can enjoy the beautiful sunshine at last, I'll be praising my little heart out. In my excitement, Wilber and I went shopping for things for my room when I got off tonight. I could have bought everything in that place, but I did good. Wanna know how I know I did good? Well, that's easy: I've still got money in my bank account! Never mind how much; all that matters is that there's some there! ;)

 thank goodness for everything at the Dollar Tree being a dollar.

my bags are all packed and ready to go for in the morning. YAY!

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Ah-men, Ay-men. Thank you, Jesus.

that's how my kiddies end their blessing every day at lunch. pretty cute, huh? :o)

we beliebe.

I didn't have any plans tonight when I got off work, so I thought it would be super fun to take Wilber to see his favorite person on the big screen. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, we made the twenty-second trip to the Camelot Theater to watch Never Say Never 3D. It was the best decision I made all week.

We sang every word to every song that he sang. I cried. At least five times. I kept looking over at Wilber and cracked up every single time because he was so mesmerized. I had to tell my bladder not to explode every ten seconds for the last half of the movie because I didn't want to miss anything. [Yes, it was that good.] There were even a couple times I was smiling so big that I actually busted out in laughter because I was so giddy and happy. And the best part about all of those things is the lack of shame I felt during each of them. It's true: I'm a belieber and always will be.

Homeboy can sing, dance, play the drums, play the guitar, play the piano, and make girls fall in love with him in an instant. The best part is that he does all of those things well. Like really well. And his personality...now THAT is just precious. I swear he's the cutest freakin' thing since teddy bears we invented.

 I don't think he's excited, do you?

lookin' fly in our stunna glasses waiting for the moooooooovie to start.

no photoshoot is ever complete without a silly picture.

I will never say never. That's a fact.

five.

FIVE.

That's the number of months left until I marry my best friend in the whole world. My high school sweetheart. The first boy I ever kissed. The last boy I'll ever kiss. My precious Teesh.


I still can't believe that the Lord picked me to be the one who gets to walk hand-in-hand for the rest of my life with the best man He ever made. Wow.

"It's been said that there's one word that will free us from the weight and the pain of life. And that word is love. And I believe that. That doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard, or that it won't be. It just means that I've found a stillness and a bravery in myself with you. You make me brave. And I will love you until the end of time..."

-Haley James Scott

happy eighth to us!

Today was the eighth Valentine's Day that Teesh and I have spent together. It doesn't even seem possible that one through seven have already come and gone. Good thing we've got a hundred [if we're lucky] more February fourteenths to spend together. This one, in particular is the only one of its kind: we'll never have another Valentine's Day where we're engaged. And since it was the one and only, it was extra special.

For dinner, he surprised me with flowers and then by taking me to High Cotton. Holy smokes, I was so stinkin' excited! I'd never eaten there before, and it was absolutely wonderful. Our waitress' name was Anna, so that was an added bonus. :o) After we stuffed our faces [literally, stuffed them. I wore my fat pants to bed for a reason tonight], we came back to my house to exchange gifts. He wrote me the sweetest card and got me another addition to our future home: a chalkboard painting of a spoon to go hang in our dining room. YAY! I spotted it in Pier 1 a couple months ago, and he took note of my obsession for it. Now I just need to fork! :-P

I bought him season one of Bones and the newest Lecrae CD, and I also made him a hand-crafted card: "100 things I can't wait to do when I become Mrs. Bargeron." I think he liked it. :o)

I'm so spoiled. And I'm woman enough to admit it. I can't imagine my life without Teesh being such a huge part of it for the last seven and a half years, and he's set the bar higher and higher every year since the first one. I still can't believe that God picked me to be the one he gets to share his life with, but I sure am thankful that he did.

Happy Valentine's Day to you from me. I hope your day was just as magical as mine was. And if you don't think it was, just remind yourself that you are loved and adored by the creator of the universe. Now that should give you chills down your spine and butterflies in your stomach.


“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.” -Jalal ad-Din Rumi

ninth.

These pictures are proof that my baby brother is officially nine years old. I still don't know how time has flown by so quickly, but, yes, it's true...he has embarked on his last year of single digits. Un. Real.

I can still remember being twelve when daddy and Shannon showed me and the rest of the gang the pregnancy test and Shannon busted out crying as she handed it to me and Daddy played it cool and Melly, Dusty, and Meeman looked up at me with faces that all said the same thing: "What does that mean?" [Yes, I've always been the smart one].

Happy birthday Wilber!

Accident or no accident, you're our pride and joy. [Even when you're whiney and we all want to knock your teeth out].

I love you, wittle brudder!