braxton bargeron | seven years old.

Our boy is SEVEN years old today!

He is mild and strong, with a heart for people and adventure and following rules and keeping things in order and questioning everything. He thinks of things I don’t, and his little mind is already light years beyond mine in retention. He would live off of fruit if I’d let him, and his favorite meal is my special chili beans recipe. He loves to play and talk about baseball, golf, and football, and one day he may very well be a sports trivia champ. He thrives in social settings with friends and family he trusts, and he gravitates towards people who might otherwise not have anyone to hang out with. He is a million wonderful things, and he is part-owner of my heart.

Today, as I reflect on all that these seven years have held, I feel all kinds of conflicting emotions at once. Thanks to him, I became a mother, and I am quite confident that he has taught me much more than I’ve taught him. One of my favorite parts of being his mama is our nightly bedtime “nuggles,” and I hope these quiet moments we spend together helps him always know that I am with him and for him and present in his presence.

Happy birthday to my angel boy, Braxton Michael!

No words could ever truly the paint the picture of how amazing he really is. But I’ll never stop trying to help the world see him for who he is — because he genuinely is the best, and I love him with my whole heart.

Highlights from year seven:

-He was baptized on July 4th, 2021 surrounded
by family and friends (praise God!)
-His second basketball season
-His first trip to the Georgia Aquarium
-Spring Break at the beach (woot!)
-His third t-ball season
-His first season as bat boy for the RGS baseball team
(under Coach Daddy's leadership)
-Lots of hikes and pool days
-His first trek up Table Rock on his own two feet
-His second trip to St. Augustine, FL
(first time at the beach there)
-A week with Mimi and Pops while TJ and I
celebrated our 10th anniversary in FL
-His first season of golf (and won the championship!)
-He started 1st grade (with the best teacher)
-His first NFL game (Go Panthers!)
-8 miles on the Swamp Rabbit Trail on his bike
-His 4th camping trip
-His first Clemson game (a win vs. Wake Forest)
-A wonderful Christmas season
-A trip to Gatlinburg and Dollywood to end 2021 the best way

braxton michael | six years old.

Six years ago on this day, I entered a new chapter in my life. One that has honestly tried to break me since those first moments, but has simultaneously been the greatest privilege and honor of my life — motherhood.

The further away that day gets, the tighter I hold it because I never want to forget. The most precious baby boy was born in spite of so many odds against him, and I lived in spite of the same. I may sound like a broken record when I share my / our story, but I still share because I have lived in the goodness of God. January 12th was a great awakening, of sorts, for us. A revival that started us on a path of choosing what matters most even when it’s hard. That revival has especially helped us this past year of uncertainty and hard decision after hard decision.

There was no party for the birthday boy this year, but he was celebrated wholeheartedly by so many. His day looked like this — a fancy homemade breakfast followed by a fun day at school, a cheeseburger for lunch, a cake pop for snack, golf in the backyard, pizza for dinner with a side of cookie cake, a few visitors and calls, playing board games until bed, and watching a video keepsake of so many loved ones. He told me it was the best day!

So, happy birthday to my angel boy! he has the kindest, most tender heart. he thrives on organization, and is confident that he will be an engineer one day. Fruit is his favorite food, and being outside is his favorite pastime. he is happiest when he’s hanging out with people he loves, but that doesn’t stop him from being painfully shy when he is embarrassed or caught being the center of attention. Tough and sensitive, handsome and silly, big-hearted and always listening, smart as a whip and humble as can be. My beloved son, the one who ushered me into a fullness I never knew how much I needed.

Highlights of year SIX:

-He confessed faith in Christ on May 2, 2020

His first beach trip to FL in July 2020

His first trip to Disney World in August 2020

-He started kindergarten in August 2020

-Beach trips and hikes galore

braxton michael | five years old.

Happy FIFTH birthday to you, my angel boy! Every year when this day rolls around, I am always amazed at how fast time goes by. You've grown more this year than any of the years that have come before, and I've loved having a front row seat to watching you become your own little person. I say it all the time, but it's only because it's true -- being your mommy is a sacred gift that I am so, so grateful to have received.

- - - - -

You are so smart, dude! Seriously, you amaze us. You have such a curious little mind that is always trying to learn new things. You love asking tough, thoughtful questions, and playing board / card games is currently your favorite past time. We play Zingo, Hoot Hoot Owl, Match, Go Fish, and I Spy almost constantly (no, really...LOL), and everyone who plays with you can see the light in your eyes when you play. It's so cute to watch your wheels turn! When you're not playing board games, you're usually outside. We still spend most of our time outdoors (well, except for when it's super cold outside, because we typically hibernate in cold weather), and that's where you and Bethany are both happiest -- outside in the fresh air.

- - - - -

You were a travel bug this year, too! You went to seven different beaches this summer (in SC and FL), and you even went on your first cruise! Mimi and Pops took us all on a week-long trip with Mickey Mouse and all his friends last summer, and it was so much fun. You loved every minute of it, and it was so much fun to watch you visit new places. You've already seen more of the world at age five than I did until I was probably in high school, and that makes me pretty proud and happy. Your mama is a travelin' fool, and I love that you, Sissy, and Daddy are along for the ride. We will be doing even more traveling this year (not quite as far as we went last year), but lots of fun will be had. Our final family trip of 2019 was to ride The Polar Express in Bryson City, NC, and our first family trip in 2020 will be spending spring break at the beach. Baaaaasically, there is SO much fun just on the horizon!

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You are hopelessly in love with Bethany, and you light up like a candle every time she shows you attention. When she grabs your hand or offers you a hug or kiss, you melt into a puddle right on the spot. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen, truly! You, also, love to hang out with your friends and cousins, and you look forward to practices, parties, hikes, and church simply because you'll get to be with them. Annnnnnnnnnd speaking of practices, you have officially started your first season of basketball! You've had a handful of practices, and your first game was just last week. Most of our family was there to cheer you on as your own personal little cheering squad, too! I'd like to go ahead and apologize for how I'll embarrass you from here on out with all my hollering. Yikes.

- - - - -

We had your birthday party yesterday morning, and you begged to have it at Spike's again. We had all-things-Spiderman present, and your family and about twenty-five of your best buds came to celebrate. After your party, we came home to open your presents and rest before the grand finale of the day. That's right, dude -- we finished your celebration day at Defy Greenville for an hour of jumping and dinner at Pizza Inn. Wahoo! Today was full of other obligations, so we made the most of the day before -- and you had a BLAST! So did the rest of us! Your life is always worth celebrating, but it's always fun to lay it on thick for your special day. Every year gets more fun, buddy! Buuuuuut let's just forget about how you start school this year for now (ahem, no crying on your birthday).

- - - - -

My prayer for you this year as you continue to grow an learn and become more wholly yourself is this -- that you would be brave and bold, not letting fear dictate who you are, what you do, or where you go. My prayer is that your life is one oozing of faith, even as a five year old. I believe that you will encounter your good, good Father this year in ways that you haven't yet, and I can't wait to talk you through the revelations you encounter over the next year. You are a mighty warrior, strong when you feel weak and chosen when you feel passed over; and you are so very, very kind. The world will tell you that it's impossible to simultaneously fierce and kind, but I don't buy into that -- you are both of those things already, and I am so grateful!

- - - - -

Braxton Michael, I love you with everything in my soul. Half a decade has gone by since we welcomed you into our world, and not a day goes by that I don't thank God for His protection over us that day. We've both got a lot of life left to lived, and I am so glad to get to walk this road with your hand in mine. You'll always be my miracle boy, and I'll always be here to listen to you, pray for you, play with you, challenge you, humble you (hehe), and give you all the love that I possibly can.

- - - - -

Happiest birthday to you, my sweet boy!

braxton michael | four years old.

Boy, oh, boy! I can barely believe it. You are officially FOUR years old, precious one! These years have seemed to go by in a flash, and every new year somehow goes by more quickly then the last. I've never known having torn emotions quite like I do with you getting older; part of me is so proud and excited to watch you learn new tricks and become a man, but another part of me aches to watch you grow. Motherhood is crazy, kid. I'll just leave it at that.

- - - - -

You amaze me every single day. You're like a little sponge, taking in the world all around you and watching carefully every little thing. I've never met an observer quite as thorough as you are, and it often makes me wonder what you'll grow up to do one day. We have gotten a whole lot better at thriving as a family of four since your last birthday (praise Jesus!), and you have been such a help to get us to think point. You love helping me around the house, and you and Bethany play together so sweetly (most of the time) that it makes me giggle with joy. Not many people do well with change, but you have proved to us that you do -- and we are trying our best to shepherd you in that as you continue to grow.

- - - - -

The highlights of this year for you were lots of hiking at both old and new places, playing in the snow, birthday parties for friends (which you have a lot of, thankfully), trips to the library several times a week, running through the sprinkler in the back yard, visiting the Riverbanks Zoo for the first time, giving your "sissy" endless smooches, our annual beach week with the Haltis (and Auntie Mel this time!), going to the apple orchard, picking pumpkins, dressed up like Gaston for Halloween, had another wonderful Christmas, attempted your first Ring Bearer gig (Lord, help us), and went to Ohio for the first time! That last one was pretty epic (like the MOST epic), and I'm soooo grateful that Daddy and I both agree that traveling with you and Bethany is so important. I sincerely want to show you the world, and this trip was a big one!

- - - - -

You still love two main things: 1) eating and 2) playing. As long as you have a full tummy and have room to play, you're as happy as can be. You've started showing your temper off in recent months, which isn't my favorite thing. BUT it has given me opportunities to love you through your angry and frustration, and to show you what forgiveness looks like. I won't lie, kiddo -- that is hard to do! But my job as a mama is to do hard things to show you that you can do hard things, too. We're all being sanctified together, all four of us, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Nope, not even for more personal space. LOL!

- - - - -

We are having your birthday party in just a little bit, and we've got lots of fun planned. You've got an incredible group of friends around you, little one, which makes me so, so happy. By you having such great buddies, I've also made a lot of great buddies, myself, along the way, too. It's pretty amazing to tell ya the truth. To be surrounded by other mamas who are like-minded on many things is such a gift, especially since we all reap benefits from it. You, also, have an out-of-this-world family who always shows up and shows out, and it's a beautiful thing. If you don't learn anything else from me your whole life, I hope you at least learn this: wholesome relationships are life-giving. Something tells me you might've already figured that out for yourself.

- - - - -

You've got another big year ahead of you, sweet boy. We're going to go on trips both near and far, make lots of memories, spend lots of time walking through the woods, read lots of books, and try live life as fully and God-honoring as possible. We'll, also, spend a good amount of time in our pajamas to balance things out. ;) When I asked you what your goals for this year were (yes, we encourage you to set goals even as a little dude), you said: "I've got two goals, Mommy. I'm going to school, and I want to play two sports...baseball and basketball." Sounds good to me, too, big boy! I'm just so darn proud of you. You, cute thing, you!

- - - - -

Braxton Michael, I love you with my whole heart. Your birthday will always bring out fierce emotions in me for lots of reasons, and I will never not feel like the luckiest mama in the whole wide world every time I look at you and your sister. God has blessed us beyond what we can even comprehend, and it is a privilege to walk with you every day. There's not sweeter boy on the planet, and I am so grateful you're mine!

braxton michael | three years old.

I can't believe that you are a whole year older today, sweet boy! Three. Years. Old. THREE! It seems like yesterday that you were born and we were bringing you home from the hospital. You've been lighting up our lives and reminding us of hope since the second we found out you were growing inside of me, and watching you grow and learn and become so mature so quickly has been one of your daddy and my greatest joys.

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This past year has been a whirlwind for our family, and you have embraced so much change so gracefully. The highlights of this year for you were getting potty trained, going to the dentist for the first and second times, moving to a big boy bed, vacationing to Table Rock State Park, Great Wolf Lodge, and Myrtle Beach with your best bud, Maddox, seeing Sesame Street Live and Paw Patrol Live, hiking up to the top of Table Rock on my back (one of my proudest moments, by the way), plenty of other hiking, dressing up like Catboy for Halloween (alongside Gekko and Owlette, of course), and more. You've been even more adventurous this year than the last, and that's what we want for you always -- an increasing sense of adventure and thrill. Even in the simple, mundane moments.

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The biggest thing that happened this year, though, was that you became a big brother! And, buddy, you are the BEST big brother ever. You looked forward to welcoming your little sister for most of the year, and you've been showering her with kisses and love and hugs and more kisses since she came home. You're so patient and kind to her, which we would knew you would be, and we get so tickled when you talk to her. Your favorite phrase to say to her is, "You're so precious, Befany. Yes, you are!" It makes your daddy and I smile so big to watch you two love on each other. We hope you'll always think she hung the moon.

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You never stop talking or running or eating. Yep, those are your three favorite things. The first thing you say to me in the morning is, "Mommyyyy, I need something to eeeeeat." Usually, there is whining involved, too, but they say that's just part of your age (ha). As soon as you get some food in your belly, though, you're good to go. You would eat all day long if you could. And I don't mean snack all day -- I mean EAT. Yep, you definitely got your daddy's appetite.

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You pray for us at every meal, and hearing you sing your prayers melts my heart. You always wait to eat until we're all at the table with you, something that you've learned from watching your daddy and me, and it makes us so proud. Sometimes we tell you to go ahead and eat without us, and you usually insist on waiting -- unless you're really hungry. We hope that one day your wife will appreciate those good table manners (wink wink).

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We've got lots of celebrating planned in your honor today, and we're getting started as soon as you wake up. Then, after we've celebrated all day, we'll have the grand finale at Pump It Up with your friends! We have a feeling that this will be your most fun party yet, because you'll be jumping and running and playing and eating cupcakes with your best buddies. You are so loved, little dude, and your daddy and I will be beaming with pride as we watch you be the center of attention for a little while. You picked out your own birthday cake for the first time this year, and we'll go pick it up today before the party starts. As soon as you saw the picture of it, you screamed with joy and pointed and exclaimed, "This one! This one!" Yep, this will totally be your best birthday ever.

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Our prayer for you this year is that you continue to learn self-control. You are so sweet with a dash (maybe more) of strong-willed, and I know that one day you're going to do great things -- especially when you learn to control those impulses you have. You are wide open 99% of the time, which has been quite a doozy for me since your sister came home, but I love it. I really, really do. The last thing your daddy and I want to do is crush your spirit, especially when we're frustrated in the heat of the moment. And as you grow in self-control, our prayer for ourselves is that we continue to develop patience.

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As you embark on other year, we are so proud to go with you. To walk with you. To encourage you. To help you up when you stumble and fall. To have dance parties with you. To run and play outside with you. To teach you new things. To show you new places. To help you face your fears. To love you. And oh, how we love you.

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Happy birthday to you, Braxton Michael Bargeron! You've been making our lives better for three years now, and I am proud as can be to be your Mommy. Keep smiling that handsome smile, cool dude! Always, always, always keep smiling that smile.

braxton michael | two years old.

I blinked, and my used-to-be baby has grown into a crazy-but-cute big boy.

I'm not sure how this is true, but alas, I am thankful to be celebrating yet another milestone with my precious blondie. And today's milestone is a big one. That's right, folks, Braxton is officially two years old today!

TWO! YEARS! OLD!

This past month has been jam-packed with to-do lists, errands, organizing + reorganizing, family gatherings, etc., and this little one has handled it all like a champ. There were a few days when nap time wasn't on the schedule (much to my demise, of course), and it never affected him until the day after. Now, that next day was a real doozy if we had back-to-back days of no nap, but thankfully that only happened once (Christmas Eve + Christmas Day). Even when he was a little on the grumpy side, his sweetness was still there. He's always extra snuggly when he's sleepy, so this was just an opportunity to for me to scoop him up and let his little head press into my chest.

Those snuggly moments will always be my favorite. 

Two years ago today, you made me a mama. For months and months I looked forward to holding you in my arms and holding you close to me and kissing your cheeks, and I was so happy when that day came. I don't remember much about the day itself, mainly only what was captured in pictures, and even though it's been two years, it still makes me pretty sad to think about all the memories that I was there for but can't recall. Jesus has been so sweet to me since that day, though, gently teaching me that it's okay to bring my brokenness to Him, that I can trust Him to heal my heart. I think it will always hurt in a way when I think about that day, and those months that followed, but He's always reminding me that His love for me is certain even when circumstances are not.

I look forward to the day that you learn that His heart is the same for you.

I have tried to be very intentional about savoring every moment with you, even the seemingly unimportant and insignificant ones like the one we're in as I type this: snuggled up under a blanket on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn at our disposal while Beauty and the Beast entertains us (again). That's right, kiddo. You love what your Mommy does! Be still my heart. I love it when you hug my legs, look up at me, and ask to watch it. We don't watch much TV, but I think you've figured out that I have sweet spot for this movie. And, to make things even cuter, you always ask me to dance during the ballroom scene. Again, be still my heart. The first time you did it, I instantly turned into a puddle! It sure is a gift being loved by you, little one.

Your second Christmas was a big hit this year, and you still haven't broken in all your new things. With your birthday being upon us, you, daddy, and I are going to do some cleaning this weekend and see what we can gift to other kiddos who may not have many toys to play with. Your grandparents + aunts + uncles (and more) loaded you down with some fun things last month, so it's definitely time to do some purging (hopefully you won't be too mad at us, but even if you are - it's happening). I would list your favorite toys from Christmas, but that list would be long soooo I'll spare you. Just know that you LOVE them ALL!

Daddy and I took you hiking on New Years Eve at Paris Mountain to North Lake, and that was the final hike of your second year. I tallied up the grand total of all the hikes you've been on since your first birthday, and it blew me away. Are you ready for this, sir? You went on forty-two hikes in 2016. FORTY-TWO! That's almost one hike per week, and that's incredible. I don't know if we will beat that total this year, but we will surely do our best. Daddy and I only carry you on long trails now, because you love exploring on your own two feet. You're practically a professional at this point, and I am so proud of you! I hope one day you read this and are pretty proud of yourself, too.

You smile like a model, talk like a champ, run around like a wild animal when you get really excited, love to help us clean up and do chores, pout when you don't get your way, smile the biggest, most breath-taking smile (cheeeeeeeeeeese) I've ever seen, eat like a teenager (LAWD!), sleep hard and long, enjoy being the center of attention, hum while brushing your teeth, and love when your daddy gets home after work. You have recently started calling out "Oh, Mommy..." in the mornings and after naps to let me know that you're ready to get out of your crib, and sometimes I let you repeat yourself fifty times because it's so darn cute. I hope I never forget the sound of your voice, little one. The innocence, the tone, just all of it. I especially love hearing you say (and sing!) your prayers, because it's as if heaven meets earth every single time you do.

We've got a full day of activities planned for us today, and then your grandparents + aunts + uncles are coming over for an intimate birthday dinner before your big birthday bash on Saturday. We are so excited to be celebrating this day in our new house - everyone is actually going to fit without being crammed. It'll be a miracle! The menu is all prepared, your cake is baked and iced and ready to be eaten, and I just know you are going to love having everyone in one place so you can show off for the whole gang. I've almost completely finished preparations for your big party this weekend, but we will have to run an errand or two today to help close out this season of last-minute crafting (please forgive me, dude - this whole moving and getting situated thing has not been for the faint of heart). Even with time not being on my side, I have so loved doing this for you! I think I always will.

My prayer for you as you close out one year of your life and launch into a new one is that you would delight to do what it right. People keep telling me about this little thing called the "terrible twos," and I've been coming hard against that little epidemic with prayer. I'm praying for your daddy and me along with that, too, because it is a high responsibility to rightly teach you how to do what is right. We want you to learn by example as we lead by example, especially when "do as I say not as I do" is what we feel like telling you. You're won't be a little boy forever, sweet boy, and we've got big plans to help you become a man who does a whole lot of good. All three of us will have to lean on grace this year as we mess up and try again, but I'm thankful that we'll be doing it together.

I don't know what kind of obstacles we will face and blessings we will receive as a family this year, but we are expectant and confident that this will be our best year yet. We can't wait to watch you continue to grow, and we are thankful for the opportunity to grow alongside of you.

You will never know how much we love you, but we will always spend our days giving you glimpses of all the space you take up in our hearts. Our most precious gift you are, dear son.

Happy, happy birthday to the coolest, funniest, smartest, wittiest, most smiley TWO YEAR-OLD in our world. We love you sooooooooo much!

braxton michael | twenty-three months.

In exactly one month, our once-baby will be two years old. TWO. YEARS. OLD.

Can someone tell me how that's possible?

He is twenty-three months old today, barely hanging on to being a one year-old, and he's been on a wild ride since we celebrated the twelfth day of the previous month. Mommy has still been snapping pictures at every turn, but I've been a little less, how to do you say, "on top of it" when it comes to posting all the precious still shots I capture. We haven't been on a trail hike all month (can you believe it?!?!), but we've taken a couple walks around the neighborhood (our new neighborhood - eeek!) when being cooped up inside was too much to bear. He has been so sweet, especially over the past week, as I've tried to get our house in order, and he's also transitioned to so many big changes recently like a champ.

He gets wilder and crazier with every new breath he breathes in, and he somehow manages to get cuter just as fast, too. He already talks our ears off with a voice that reminds of perfect innocence and purity, and his words are constantly getting clearer and clearer. He prefers running over walking, loves to eat, never goes too long without pausing for a hug or a kiss from his daddy or mommy, is amazed at all the Christmas decorations everywhere, and sprints out of his room to greet the snowman on our mantle every morning before he does anything else.

He officially has a new room in our new home, and he loves everything about it...especially taking every single book off of his bookshelf multiple times a day (and BOY, does he have a lot of books). In only a week's time, Teesh and I have probably reorganized them a combined total of thirty times. We don't mind though, because we love that he loves to read already! Well, let's just say we don't mind yet.

We walked to the Fountain Inn Christmas Parade as citizens of our adorable, new-to-us town last week, and we also chose and strung the lights on our very first Christmas tree at our new home. I wish I would have filmed Braxton's response to waking up to all the lights and reds and greens on that first morning that I rose early just to turn them on. Oh, I hope he loves Christmas as much as I do!

I will be the mommy of a two year-old blondie next month, which means that the next thirty days will be filled with birthday party planning (yay for Elmo!), a hundred smooches per day, reminiscing over how blessed we've been up to this point in our lives, countless prayers of thanksgiving lifted, and trying to be the best wife to Teesh and mama to Braxton that I can be. His second Christmas is nearing fast, and we've got lots and lots to celebrate and be grateful for!

The months just get sweeter and sweeter, but my goodness, do they fly by.

braxton michael | twenty-two months.

This cheesy-smilin', tree-huggin', life-lovin' dude is twenty-two months old today. TWENTY-TWO MONTHS OLD! Dang,y'all. Time flies. I mean, they all tell you that it will, but no one can prepare you for just how fast time really does pass by. Even with the best of intentions, moments get away from us and quickly become memories.

This past month has certainly been one of those "remember to be intentional" months. We've officially been living with Mimi + Pops (TJ's parents) for over a month, and it's been a pretty big adjustment for all three of us. Although we are closer to our community, we now live further from all the local trails, making it harder and less convenient to join our friends in our happy places, and we've been missing our weekly trips to the zoo, too. The chilly weather has put a slight damper on our outside time in general, as well, but we've still been playing at a couple of different parks and going on walks pretty regularly.

Because we've been spending so much time inside and around family lately, Braxton has become quite the show off...in good ways annnnd in bad. Lordy, Lordy. His language continues to boom, and favorite words are currently "no," "truck," "outside," "please," and "cheeeeeeese." That last word has cracked us up on countless occasions recently, because he will scream it out and smile really big if he sees me take a picture of someone/something other than him. We're raising a little model. HA!

We've started to encourage him to pick a few things to pray for when we pray before we eat and at bedtime, and it is the cutest thing; "trucks" and "Mommy Haiti" are his two favorite things to tell Jesus about. Seriously, the cutest! He wants to use his new "teef Elmo" brush ten times a day, and he loves when his Daddy comes home after being a work all day (a personal favorite of mine, too) and sliding down the tallest slides on the playground and asking to watch Pooh on TV (we can blame Daddy for that while Mommy was in Haiti, HA!) and leading our hikes/walks and trying on every pair of shoes he has twenty times a day (kid has a serious shoe fetish) and getting attention from anyone who will look his way and riding in the wrecker and laughing loudly + proudly.

He is growing at the speed of light these days, and we are trying our darndest to keep up with his every step. I don't mind following behind him, because it gives me the best view to see where he is and where he's headed, both literally and figuratively. It really is the biggest honor to be his Mommy. We love our little blondie so much!

This next month will be full of more change and transitions (hopefully), plenty of Thanksgiving food, gearing up for Christmas and all of its excitement, beginning to really plan his second birthday party, and enjoying more of this wild ride called parenthood. So much to be thankful for and to look forward to!

Only two more months before we have a two year-old, y'all. If you need me, I'll be clinging to every single moment that comes my way!

braxton michael | twenty-one months.

Our sweet Braxton is twenty-one months old today!

A lot has changed since that crisp morning in January when he was welcomed into the world, and our biggest change yet came just last week when we moved out of the first place we ever called home. This little house was so much more than just a little house to us for more reasons than we can count, especially since the day we brought our first baby home.

Every day from the time I learned I was pregnant to that Monday morning when he was born, I would write prayers and letters in a journal to him from different rooms in our bungalow. I wrote most of them early in the mornings before school while sitting at the dining room table under our beautiful chandelier right after I ate my breakfast and read my Bible, but I would sit in the floor in the other rooms, too, and write about what it would be like to hear his hands and feet go pitter-patter on them. I dreamed lots of dreams for our family as I poured my heart out to my unborn baby on paper.

And for nearly twenty-one months, I lived those dreams.

We lived those dreams.

He won't remember this house or the memories we made here, and that's one of the things that makes moving on so hard. He won't remember looking out the window, watching the cars go by and jumping with excitement when he saw daddy pull into the driveway. He won't remember that first time he ever walked around the block on his own two feet. He won't remember all the wagon rides and front porch swings and baths in the tall clawfoot tub and hiding in the closets and running into the living room with his milk in his hands and a big smile on his face when he opened the fridge by himself for the first time and those lullabies we sang as I held him in my arms with daddy listening in from the other side of the door.

But I will.

This house watched and supported us as new spouses and new parents, and we did a whole lot of growing in short time here.

Our sweet baby boy spent his first twenty-one months of life behind those plaster walls covered by dark brick.

That's something this mama will never, ever forget.

The best is yet to come, I believe that with all of my heart, but I'll always remember the place we got our start. And I'll tell him stories about our old, charming bungalow for as long as he will listen.

braxton michael | twenty months old.

This is the face of a little guy who loves smiling for mama, laughing loudly and proudly, trucks, Thomas the Train, Elmo, when daddy comes home, eating all day every day (he is especially loving apples and bananas right now - maybe we are singing that song too much?!), singing and dancing, running until his tiny legs just about fall off, throwing the ball, climbing on any and everything, and flirting with all the pretty girls.

His personality continues to bloom more each day, and it's so fun to watch him become his own person. His language development has also shown incredible growth this past month, which has been so exciting! He can point to people he sees most often and say their name, and he repeats most words that we say. He is, also, a smart little cookie who can point to places on his body when I ask him where they are (ie. when I ask him where his nose is, he can point to it, etc.). He just keeps growing and growing and growing, and we are forever trying to simply take it all in and celebrate each milestone whether big or small.

Twenty months of the most joy his daddy and I have ever known. We are so grateful to be his parents!

braxton michael | nineteen months.

I know a little boy who is nineteen months old today!

It's been a busy month, but Braxton has kept up with all of our shenanigans like a champ. We went to the beach for the second time of the summer (this time with our best buds), we celebrated several birthdays (including his cousin, Trent), we proudly supported our Mimi in Relay for Life last Friday night (and praised God the whole time we walked), we've only been on one hike since the middle of July (but we will be back in our normal rhythm again soon), and we even took our second trip to Jellybeans for his second haircut.

Braxton, also, spent his second weekend without us this past month when Teesh and I went away for a couple of days to celebrate our fifth anniversary. Mimi and Pops were on baby duty, along with the whole Bargeron crew for backup, and I think this time away was good for all three of us. I love spending my days with my little blonde-headed boy, but there was something quite magical about being lost in the woods with my first blonde-headed boy with nothing to do and nowhere to be. If I had to guess, I'd bet Braxton thoroughly enjoyed all the center-of-attention treatment he got that weekend, too!

Daddy went back to school this week, so it's just been Mama B + Baby B all day. The first few days were wet and rainy, but we finally changed out of our pajamas yesterday and spent our morning at the park. We've popped in to see daddy several times, too, but the thing at the top of our to-do list has been one of my personal favorites: snuggles.

Nineteen months old, and he still loves to snuggle with his mama. Oh, how I hope this continues for years and years and years!

He changes a little bit every day, and I'm still following him around at a distance, trying my best to give him space to grow and learn on his own while still being close enough to help if he hollers out my name. He is loud (louder than most others, I dare to say), he already loves to sing karaoke (future worship leader like his mama?!), he has finally figured out how to run (still pretty uncoordinated, but he has picked up lots of speed this past month), he still gives the sweetest hugs and kisses, he loves to say "Mama" all day every day (much to his daddy's demise), he enjoys pushing his limits already (Lord, help us), he already eats more than I do (seriously), and he has the most precious cheesy grin in the history of most precious cheesy grins.

Oh, that grin!

Nineteen months of joy, frustration, belly laughs, love like I've never known, and so much more. I will always be proud to call this boy (and his daddy) mine, and I wouldn't trade our life together for anything else in the world. What we don't have much of, we make up for in love...and that's good enough for me.

Happy nineteen months to our sweet Braxton Michael, the one who has taught us more than any school book ever has!

braxton michael | eighteen months.

No shirt? No pants? No problem.

That has been the theme of this past month. I mean, having a wild, watermelon-loving toddler partnered with a whole lot of hot temperatures to work with, what other option is there?

Eighteen months ago, this little dude was welcomed into our family. Isn't it amazing how fast time passes? Every new season with him has been full of more joy, more calories burned, more self-control, more emotions, more fun, and more photos (can you imagine??) than the previous one, and it's still the biggest blessing watching him grow up.

This month...

He kept me on my toes, but still paused for snuggles and rest at any given time. He revealed more of his very-similar-to-mine personality with each new day, and I've already begun joking that there is a good chance we will kill each other before long (who doesn't love a good battle of the wills?). He really started sweating like a grown man with all this heat, and his blonde hair stuck to his head as soon as we walk outside (I don't mind that part though, because you can really see the red tint to it when it's wet). He adventured all over the place, including our neighborhood and trails and even a few big waterfalls. His canines are still working their way through his gums, and I attributed some of his grumpiness to that very thing. He splished and splashed in the ocean and the swimming pool, and even completed his first season of swimming lessons. He, also, watched his daddy depart for an international mission trip, a passion that I pray daily would be passed on to him over the years.

The biggest thing that happened this past month is our nursing journey coming to an end. Some won't understand why that's such a hard milestone to cross, but it was. He had only been nursing first thing in the morning for the past few months, and I knew that he was done when he paused to look up at me and sign "more" two mornings in a row. Mama just wasn't cutting it anymore, and that's okay because it was a miracle that Mama ever cut it to begin with. I'll never forget how hard we fought to have that special bond, and I will forever cherish the seventeen+ months when we'd sit in that glider, just the two of us, and slowly wake up together.

A year and a half later, and my love for my first baby has grown exponentially since that first day. What a blessing it is to be called Mama by my little guy!

braxton michael | seventeen months.

My oh my, what a big month we have had. Our little B is seventeen months old, and he's a full-fledged toddler on a mission!

This past month, Braxton...

...went camping for the second time.

...hiked four times.

...rode his first rides at the fair.

...had his first stomach bug.

...spent his first weekend apart from mama and daddy.

...learned to sign "Please" and "Thank you" (in addition to "More," "Eat," and "Milk").

...got much better at copying words said to him.

...splashed out back in his kiddie pool AND in Mimi + Pops' big pool.

...said "Mama, "Water (wa-wa)," Hi," "Hello," "Bye bye," "Wow," and "Go" consistently.

...had his first two swimming lessons.

...screamed bloody murder during his first swimming lesson, but came around by the next one (PTL).

...ate a lot and pooped a lot (just keeping it real).

...celebrated several birthdays with family members + friends.

...had a couple playdates at the park.

...transitioned from two naps a day to one longer nap.

...started experimenting with using utensils by himself while eating.

...became more curious about a little thing called free will (Lord, help us).

...went to the zoo to celebrate Daddy's first day of summer.

...read every single book on his book shelf a hundred times (kid loves to read, y'all).

...put his rain boots to good use in multiple puddles.

...took two trips to The Children's Museum of the Upstate.

...ran and jumped and screamed out in joy and had a blast wherever he went.

We love our wild and crazy, yet sweet and cuddly little dude so much. It's hard to believe that seventeen months have already come and gone, but we are certainly making the most of every single day. Our baby is growing in leaps and bounds every second of every day, and it would be a shame to waste our time wishing he wouldn't grow so fast instead of cheering him on as he blooms. I may or may not preach that to myself on a daily basis, y'all.

And now that it's officially summer break, the fun is just beginning!

braxton michael | sixteen months.

This snapshot is the perfect summary of what this past month has looked like.

Endless running. Belly laughs. Cheesy grins, Freshly trimmed hair. Turning every moment into a daring adventure. Constant chatter. That strong-but-sweet personality revealing itself more every second. Shouts of joy. Always looking sharp.

And, of course, Mama with her camera.

Sixteen months have come and gone since that day I went from carrying my baby in my belly to carrying him in my arms, and there has never been another season that has taught me more about cherishing life and fully living in it than this one is.

Every moment is a miracle, and I have been granted the most amazing gift of all: getting to see these miracles come to fruition with my own eyes.

As I look back with gratefulness and forward with anticipation, I choose to live in the moment I am given, for that's where the true miracle is. Every day I get to spend with this boy + his daddy is a day that I don't deserve, but it's also one that I will hold onto (not too loosely, and not too tightly) as I count them twice when I count my blessings.

Keep running, little one. Run your heart out as you chase your dreams and make new discoveries, both about yourself and the world around you. Never be too proud to rest, though, for that's all part of the race. Life is not a sprint but a marathon, and your ability to endure is much more important than how fast you go. Keep running, little one, and always look around to make sure you're on the right path. Don't follow your heart, because your heart can easily be misled. Don't follow the crowd, because you were born to humbly and fearlessly lead. Simply follow in the footsteps of the One who made you, and let Him tell you where you ought to go.

And as you run, always remember that you'll never go alone.

braxton michael | fifteen months.

Mamas, you know those dreams you dream and prayers you pray over your little ones? Well, I watched one of those really come to life this month.

We have a fearless, adventure-seeking, outdoor-loving, wild man on our hands, and we love it. Since he was born, and especially since he started crawling, countless people have told me, "Just wait until he starts walking. You spend so much time wishing he would walk, and then you'll wish he would sit down as soon he does." I always politely smile back at those who make comments like this, but I have a public confession to make: I silently (and, occasionally, not-so-silently) disagreed with them.

My family called me "Anna Go Henderson" when I was younger because I was always doing just that: going. And although they don't call me by that name anymore (well, except for my mommy), I think they're all aware that going and doing are still my favorite past-times. So, when people told me that he would never stop going and doing once he started, their well-meaning warning made a thrilling surge of excitement pulse through my veins instead of the fear and anxiety that they intended it to.

This past month, we intentionally went outside after a rainstorm for the sole purpose of splashing in puddles. We went to the park and ran through the grass until we were so tired that we could barely breathe. We climbed mountains and visited places that many people don't even know exist. We dug in the dirt, and I laughed, not fussed, when I saw that brown ring around his mouth. We had play dates with other kiddos + their mamas, but we also had play dates when it was just us. He ran away from me, and I chased him with a big grin on my face. He, also, learned to hide from me, and I pretended like his hiding spot was much better than it actually was. He slid down the slide head first about a dozen times, and even though I knew he would probably get hurt eventually, I let him. He picked up sticks and rocks and leaves, and I watched his curiosity run rampant. He made a mad-dash for the middle of the road, and he let out a big cackle when I caught him just before he reached the asphalt. And those are just the highlights.

Sometimes he smiles all day, and other times he is fussy from the time he wakes up in the morning until the time he goes to sleep at night. Regardless of his mood, however, nothing makes him come alive like being outside does (this helps mama out, too, because some days I am not as patient with him as I'd like to be). He isn't fearful of wide open spaces (yep, I just made some of you burst out into song, but I digress...) or becoming friends with someone (literally anyone) that he just met a few seconds ago or leaping through the air without knowing who (or what, at times) will catch him.

Real fun has just begun this past month for our little guy, and TJ and I are having fun right alongside of him. It's been fifteen months of abundant life that we never knew before him, and we are confident that the best it yet to come!

braxton michael | fourteen months.

Things mama doesn't want to forget about this month:

|| I learned to walk all by myself || Five new teeth (four of which were molars) came in || I watched daddy coach his very first game as a JV baseball coach for Hillcrest High School || The warm weather provided lots of opportunities for walks and hikes || Speaking of hikes, we went on three this month || I overcame my fear of our great, big bathtub that had lasted for several months || I know exactly when to say "Bye!" and I don't care if I hurt anyone's feelings with my insistence that it's time to leave || The many play dates I got to have with my buddies || I got a major diaper rash a couple of weeks ago so I got to walk around the house in my birthday suit (Mama kept saying, "I'm so thankful for hardwood floors," as she followed me around with a towel) || My mullet is growing in nicely || The zoo was a frequent outing for us since it was so pretty || The park was, too || On the first warm day of the season, we went to the zoo, the park, AND for a five-mile walk so that we could spend as much time in the sunshine as possible || I'm getting bigger every day, but daddy and mama still try to hold me like I'm a baby sometimes || And I let them || I love to eat || And poop || And hear mama sing to me || And let daddy throw me up in the air and chase me around the house || I'm a happy, flirty, feisty, cuddly boy whose smile is as bright as the sun ||

Fourteen months of love like I've never known have come and gone, and I can promise you that I don't wish away even the worst of days.

braxton michael | thirteen months.

Age:

13 Months

Number of teeth:

Seven! My first molar came in just yesterday, and more are just below my gums. Say it with me...ouch!

Favorite toy:

My Thomas the Train walker that I got for my birthday

Shoe size:

4

Preferred mode of transportation:

Crawling + Cruising

Clothing size:

12-18 months

Favorite food:

I am a fruit-a-holic. Seriously, give me ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the fruit!

Biggest adventure from this past month:

I got to touch snow AND sand this past month. How cool is that?!

I look like my:

Daddy

(thank goodness he's handsome...well, that's what Mama tells me, anyway)

Something new I learned this past month:

I can give hugs now, and I squeeze extra tight when you say "awww!"

Favorite book:

Pat the Bunny

Personality:

I like to talk so much that I talk to myself. Daddy says I have Mama to thank for that! I'm also increasingly feisty. Thanks again, Mama.

Favorite TV show:

I love it when Mama turns on PBS, and I especially love Nature Cat (tally ho!)

Words I can say:

Mama + Bye-bye + Dada + Ball + Hey + Uh oh

braxton michael | watch me grow.

Each new month brought more joy, more sleep, more personality, more patience, less simplicity, less predictability, and less spit up than the month prior. Yesterday was the end of one year + the beginning of another, and I'm thankful to have a front row seat to it all. I want to remember all the moments -- even the bad ones -- because every cry, scream, belly laugh, and kiss is sanctifying me, each in their own way + for a special purpose. In what seems like the blink of an eye, our baby boy has gone from being a newborn to becoming a toddler, and we're still thrilled to be on the ride of our life.

Twelve months ago, our lives changed forever. And we wouldn't go back to the way things used to be even if we could.

braxton michael | one year.

I'm writing this particular letter with tissues in-hand, because my heart is so full of gratitude that it all just keeps pouring out of my eyes. It has been an entire year since I first held your long, lanky, perfect body in my arms, and your daddy + I are so proud that you are ours. There are no amount of kisses I could smooch you with, squeezes I could wrap you up in, or silly smiles I could flash your way to make you know just how much you mean to me, just how much I love you. This past year has been full of lots of things, and love is at the very top of all of them. My prayer for you as I wrote you this letter, along with the all the others, too, is that you would have a small glimpse of the joy you brought me + so many others as we watched you discover the world around you, bit by bit, for the very first time. I've also become a diligent learner of you, little one. I love studying you to discover what you like + don't like, what you mean when you do certain things, and so much more. I learn as you learn, and I'm never one to shy away from discovering something new. Next to Jesus and your daddy, you are the best thing to study -- in fact, I study them when I study you, too, which is pretty awesome.

Over the past month, you have grown + changed in lots of ways. You're not walking just yet, but we know it's just a matter of time before you take off and never stop. Even without taking steps, you manage to go from place to place without ever missing a beat (as evidenced by this month's pictures). You get better at balancing on your own every day, and are still professionally going wherever you want by speed-crawling + cruising. Daddy + I like to get on our knees and chase you all over the house, mainly because you belly laugh the whole time you try to out-crawl us. You are still chatty with a big personality, you can wave and say "buh-buh" (usually while wearing a toothy grin), you love to play with and rearrange your toys (especially your new ones), and you leave a trail of those same toys throughout the house as you crawl to new destinations. "Mama" is still your favorite word, BUT (drum roll please) you have officially started saying "DADA!" Daddy tries to play it cool, but we both know what it does to him inside! You can click your tongue and make other noises with your mouth, and you love to mock us when we talk (conversing with you is pretty funny, kiddo). Our break from teething is still lingering (hallelujah), and you get better at using those six teeth every time you eat. Yep, you still loooooooove to eat, too. The holiday were full of good food, and you didn't mind at all. Once you finished your plate of food, you were pointing at mine while grunting. Real talk: it scares me to think about how much you'll eat when you become a teenager. Yikes!

Speaking of the holidays, you made things much more interesting, mister. Your favorite things about Christmas were the food (yep, you liked it enough for me to say it twice), the boxes, and the tissue paper. No one was surprised that you opened up your gifts only to get distracted by what it was wrapped in, but you did get some pretty cool gifts. Mama asked for more practical gifts for you for this first Christmas, including endless trips to the Greenville Zoo, The Children's Museum, and the South Carolina State Parks. How cool is that?! You, me, your daddy, and any always-welcome guests are going to do lots of adventuring during 2016, and we are PUMPED! These gifts will make your transition into a walking, talking, curious toddler much smoother, I'm sure of it. Daddy was home with us for two weeks over Christmas, and it was UH-MAY-ZING. You were spoiled rotten by him while he was home, and I'm still trying to convince you that you don't need to be picked up every few minutes. I knew I was going to be in trouble once he went back to school, but I didn't mind because seeing you two become best buds makes me all warm + fuzzy inside. Your daddy loves you so well, sweet B.

We've got a full day planned for you as we kick off your birthday celebrations! An entire day of adventuring followed by an intimate party with just us, your grandparents, and your aunts + uncles. Your big party is this weekend (woot woot!), and your daddy + I have been crafting for weeks to get ready for all the fun we are going to have. It's been too long since I've put my K4 creativity to good use, and I am having a BALL while trying my best to make sure your party is perfect. You know what having two parties in one week means? You get to smash two cakes in one week! Yeahhhh buddddddy! So many people love you, and I have plenty of stories + memories that prove that fact. But, I mean, with those eyes, what's not to love?

Braxton Michael Bargeron, you are a treasure to me. I have been the girl who couldn't wait to become a mommy for as long as I can remember, but I never could've fathomed that you would arrest my heart like you did when I met you for the first time a whole year ago. The first few weeks with you are a blur, quite frankly, and one of the things I hate most about being so sick when you were first born is that I wasn't able to soak it all in. I've made up for it since then, believe me, but it still makes me sad when I think about missing so many of your first moments. One thing is certain, though: I can't wait to tell you about how God protected us from losing each other, how he worked miracle after miracle during the first few months of your life, and how strong your daddy + so many others were for us when we weren't very strong by ourselves. One of my favorite miracles is this one: all of the doctors that I saw in the hospital said it would be "all but impossible" for my milk to come in after all the trauma my body had gone through, but God has seen us through twelve months of nursing. I wish I had a video of our reaction when I pumped my first little drop of milk while sitting on that hospital bed. We partied like it was 1999 (don't worry, one day you'll know what that means), and that same excitement has been the theme of our first year with you. It literally feels like my heart is being crushed when I think about the weaning process being upon us, but I'm thankful to watch you keep growing in independence (insert the ugliest cry ever here).

The year that lies ahead will be full of more highs and lows, trials and suffering, adventures and laughs, and we are humbled to keep learning as you learn, growing as you grow. We love you more every single day, and that love grows exponentially with every new second we have with you. As bittersweet as it is to say farewell to the baby stage, our hearts are overflowing with thankfulness to begin a new season. I hope you still want to snuggle in close to me in the mornings while we play with your toys + watch our beloved PBS, and I really hope you keep stopping whatever you're doing at any given time just to come sit in my lap + give me kisses out of the blue. I promise to keep singing to you, dancing with you, chasing you, toting you to beautiful places on my back, flirting with you in the rearview mirror, letting you try to destroy the blinds, praying for you throughout every day, tickling you until you laugh out of control, protecting you from as much danger as I can, and making my love for you as tangible as it can possibly get. Thank you for showing me so much in such a short amount of time, sweet boy. I'd give anything to see this world through your eyes.

Happy birthday to you, Baby B! Life has been a whole lot more fun since you joined us, and we're still just getting started. May kindness and generosity be the themes of your life, and may the love of Christ overwhelm + compel you always.