thirteen.

13 years ago today.

We got up early, got married at noon, and officially began our lives together as husband and wife. We had grown up together up until that point, and we’ve been growing up together since. Sometimes I miss those two versions of us who truly believed the worst was behind us on the day that our lives were joined as one. We were naive. We were relieved. We were bursting with hope.

Some of that hasn’t changed 13 years later, though, and I am genuinely thankful for what has remained. Especially the hopefulness we carry in our spirits. Truthfully, I’m not sure we’d be able to press on without it.

Year thirteen was both exhilarating…and excruciating. I am certain that we have never cried more in each other’s arms than we have this year, but I’m, also, not sure we’ve laughed as much either. We are increasingly making peace with how joy and sorrow are often so closely acquainted, and I am so proud of us for being willing to keep learning new steps when life changes the song and tempo on us. Sometimes he steps on my toes, sometimes I step on his; but we keep dancing.

When our instincts pull us in different directions, our love keeps us looking for each other.

When our individual grief requires different things from us, our patience keeps us wise and aware.

When our hearts break over losses we didn’t see coming, our intimacy keeps us sobered to reality: that we are not immune to it either.

When our dreams come to life before our eyes, our humility keeps us tethered to each other and to the truth: that every dream has come with a price.

Thirteen years would have passed anyway.

I am bone-deep grateful that I’ve been loving my Teesh as they did.

I’m, also, giddy as can be to be celebrating this anniversary with my man and our beautiful kiddos from California.

Cheers to us!