thirty-one | a promise.

I had a dream last night about a fire. It was blazing and hot and colored with deep reds and oranges. Blowing from side to side with the wind, it looked reckless and unpredictable. It looked strong, like it could do some damage.

Then, all of a sudden, the fire began to settle into a pile of embers on the ground. At first glance, you couldn't see that although the reds and oranges were no longer blazing, they were still there. Underneath a thin pile of gray ash, the deep tones of the embers looked almost majestic as they seemed to dance around together there on the ground.

I was staring at the embers in wonder and curiosity when I woke up from the dream as TJ rolled over and put his arm around me, mid-sleep.

Remembering the dream as I snuggled in close to him, my mind wandered back to the dream. To the embers. I began to think about how embers are considered the dying remains of a fire, but they're most commonly the culprits behind raging wildfires. And while they're not as hot as a fire itself, they are still hot and can easily be ignited back to being ablaze. Until they are ignited back to a fire or die out, they just are.

This got me thinking about my relationship with Teesh, especially since I awoke and it was officially his thirty-first birthday.

When we were dating, we were a blazing fire.

When we were first married, we were a blazing fire.

When we hit year six, however, we began to look more like embers.

And the more I saw it happening, the more I started to freak out. Mainly because we looked differently than we had for the past decade+ of our relationship, and I didn't like it.

We celebrated year eight over the summer, and over the past two years we've gone back and forth between a blazing fire and embers. I've still been frustrated by the lack of fire blazing, honestly, and I am receiving last night's dream as a word from God -- I receive that in the early morning of my Teesh's thirty-first birthday, I saw a picture of how beautiful, awe-inspiring, and potentially powerful embers are.

And this morning as I continued to process this picture that had been painted for me, I haven't felt dissatisfaction or frustration or sorrow. Instead, I've felt gratitude and abundance and a heightened sense of what love really is.

Sometimes, love is a burning fire. Sometimes, it's not.

And oftentimes, we simply need to be reminded of that.

Always, however, love is a choice.

And I will forever, undoubtedly, faithfully choose love when it comes to my Teesh. When it comes to us, anything less would be a tragedy.

So, today, my birthday wish for him is more like a promise. I borrowed the words from Ben Rector, because he said it perfectly...

"Well, I'll be your rainy day lover

Whenever the sunny days end

And whatever the weather, we have each other

And that's how the story will end

Well, I'll be your shade tree in summer

If you'll be my fire when it's cold

And whatever the season, well, we'll keep on breathin'

'Cause we'll have each other to hold

And I'll hold you and I'll sing

Well, I wanna love you, forever I do

I wanna spend all my days with you

Carry your burdens and be the wind at your back

Well, I wanna spend my forever like that..."

Happy birthday to the man who changed my life when he was just a boy, and has continued to change it since the glorious day we became us. I'm celebrating you with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, Teesh. In my humble (and, ahem, absolutely correct) opinion, you're God's greatest creation. I love that I get to celebrate and love you every day!

bethany victoria | two years old.

I can't believe it's true, but it certainly is. You are officially TWO YEARS OLD! What a year it has been. You are a real life sour patch kid, equal parts sour and sweet. You keep us on our toes at all times, but we love it. You are already such a strong, independent little lady -- honestly, the more independent you become, the more content you are. As much as it makes my mind spin, I admire you for it; I guess you remind me of someone I know. I hope you never lose your fight, and that you learn to fight for the right things in life -- the good things. You are a force to be reckoned with, my girl. I already know that even just two years in.

- - - - -

This past year has been full of fun, fun, fun. We have laughed, hiked, walked around our town more times than I can count, frequented the library and the grocery store more than any other places (yes, food and books are basically life around here), run through sprinklers, splashed in the pool, gone to the fair, and went on soooo many adventures. A few special adventures include pumpkin picking, apple picking, trips to the beach (some spontaneous, others planned), dressing up as SuperGirl for Halloween, etc, but the most exciting thing we have one this past year is when we set sail on a Disney cruise! One week on the sea with stops at three tropical islands was a wonderful treat for us, especially since we were with Daddy's whole family. We even went down to Florida a few days earlier to visit a couple new-to-us beaches to make the most of our vacation. I think this goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways -- we loooooove the beach around here!

- - - - -

You love to dance and run, and wide open spaces are your favorite places to be. You are still learning to talk, but we've gotten pretty good at interpreting what you're saying. We call it Bethany-ese, LOL! Regardless, we just love to hear your sweet voice. Now when you're pterodactyl voice comes out and you go to screamin', on the other hand, it's not so pleasant. Girl, you've got some pipes. I just hope that one day you'll use them to sing duets with me instead of hollering.Whew. My eye twitch is stroooooong when you let out those sounds. Ha!

- - - - -

You've got a big appetite (God forbid you ever develop a dairy or gluten allergy, because you love bread and cheese) and you love to sleep (which is much appreciated after a whole year of no sleep before you turned one). You love Mickey and Minnie Mouse, unicorns, princesses, Elmo, and animals. Your favorite animal is a puppy, hands down. You melt when you see dogs, and it is the cuuuuutest thing. So cute that I've tried to convince your daddy to get us one, but I don't think it's going to happen. We'll just keep playing with Justin and Becca's pup next door indefinitely! ;)

- - - - -

We had your birthday party yesterday, and it was the most fun! About fifty of our closest friends and family came to celebrate you, and we basked in the presence of all-things-Minnie-Mouse together. We are going to continue the celebrating today by going to church together as a family (a rare treat to have me along for the ride!), and then eat a yummy lunch together. Your gift from us will have to wait a couple of weeks, but I promise it will be so fun. We are all about experiences over things, and this gift will further prove that. We're just so excited to spend your special day with you!

- - - - -

This day will always bring up big emotions for me, and I want to share these same words with you as I did your big brother on his second birthday -- "Jesus has been so sweet to me since that day, though, gently teaching me that it's okay to bring my brokenness to Him, that I can trust Him to heal my heart." Both of my children's birth stories involve intense trauma, and as much as I wish that wasn't true we're all learning to thrive and choose joy in the midst of hard things. Sometimes I still picture you hooked up to all those wires and breathing machine, the way you spent your first few days of life. I wanted to hold you on my terms and let you feel my love, but I had to get creative. I hope you felt my presence with you then, and I hope you still do now. Your life is already more significant in just two short years than many others who are much older than you, I believe that with my whole heart. I know what an overcomer you are, my girl. And I'm so grateful to walk with you through all your days, the good and the bad. Even more grateful that it's not just me walking with you.

- - - - -

Happy birthday to you, Bethany Victoria. If I could only have one of my prayers answered for you, it would be this -- that you know how much you are loved. Because when you know that, you can really grow and become the person God had in mind when He made you. We love you so very, very much!

hike it baby 30 | september 2019

Another September comes to an end today, so you should know what that means...

We just completed our S I X T H Hike it Baby 30 challenge, wahoo!

I've said it before, but I'll repeat it any way - Hike it Baby 30 is an initiative to get families to spend more time outside. So simple, right? These challenges are always so much fun for us, because we keep a detailed record of all the memories we're making. I don't always keep track of how long we're outside on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis -- but I always do during challenge months. This particular challenge was our most successful one yet, and I'm still AMAZED at our incredible results!

We opted for mostly walks around our neighborhood to log our miles, but we did adventure to a few trails -- all of which were some of our most favorites! And when we weren't racking up mileage, we were posted up on the pavement playing with chalk or at the park, playing our hearts out. The weather this month has been so great, which definitely helped us surpass our goal in such a huge way. It's been a HOT September, but I haven't minded. An extended summer is right up my alley! ;)

The challenge, itself, is this: hike/walk/bike 30 miles with your kids and/or spend 30 minutes outside 3 days a week with your kids. For us, we logged a total of 56 MILES between the trails and the pavement AND spent a whopping total of 134 HOURS outside during the month of Septemer! WOWZA!! That time outside breaks down to an average of 4.5 hours of outside time each day. I am SO proud of us! I'm especially proud that I have this sweet tradition with my kiddos (and husband, when he's able to join us) that keeps us active, healthy, and constantly adventuring. I hope they remember these days. But if not, I've got picture proof. LOL!

I've got a major travel itch currently, and I've been mapping out new-to-us hikes that we could write down and cross off in a few new-to-us places. TJ hasn't exactly signed off on all this yet (aka he's more present-minded and detail-oriented than his lovely wife), but I hope he will soon. I'm not asking for anything tooooooooooooo crazy (*insert evil laugh here*), I just want to see places that I've never seen now more than ever before.

These challenge months help scratch these itches I get from time to time. This particular challenge, however, was a bit of an emotional one for me, because it's our final September edition where Braxton is with us at all of them. Next fall, he'll start kindergarten and our days will change a whoooole lot. I may have cried about it, but I'll never tell. Teesh and I had planned to put him in a MMO program this year to "get him ready" for school, but we changed our minds when we thought through what our days would look like. He will have the next however many years of his life dictated to him by school and work, so we decided to hold off on preschool to give him (and us) one final year of flexibility and explorations not determined by a schedule. I'll never regret this decision!

I hope my babies are proud to tell their friends about their childhood when they get older, and I hope that they always want to show their photo albums of all our fun to everyone who comes to our house (that's currently Braxton's favorite thing to do, and it is so precious!). I can't give them everything they want or maybe even all that they need, but I can at least try my best to help them grow and become the people God had in mind when He created them to be. The best way I know to do this is to show them the world and let them run wild in wide open spaces.

I believe that to see the Earth is to get a glimpse of Heaven, and I want my family to know Heaven through and through.

Trail Hikes: 4

Trail Miles: 8

Total Miles: 56

Total Minutes Outside:  8,060

April 2016 // September 2016

April 2018 // September 2018

April 2019

new fence, who 'dis | home sweet bargeron.

As of last week, we have checked off another item off our wish list for our beloved home! Our to-do list keeps shrinking, and it's quite thrilling to watch so many of our hopes come to life. We dedicated most of our savings to adding curb appeal to our sweet house, and we've still got a good ways to go before our vision is complete. Here's the thing, though -- we are SO PROUD of all we've accomplished in such a small amount of time. Since becoming debt free and changing our mindset / methods around our finances, we have done so many things we thought would take us a decade. And we've found this to be true this year: the more we accomplish, the harder we work / plan to complete our next task.

Our most recent reason to celebrate is this -- our backyard is now fenced in! Wahoooo!

We opted for a picket fence instead of a privacy fence so we could still see our neighbors, and we went with white to match our new front porch. Our original plan was to install a wooden fence, but when we saved about $1,500 on our porch by doing it ourselves we asked for a quote for vinyl. The quote was below our max budget for this project, so we went for it. We were VERY happy to not have to paint / stain a whole bunch of pickets. LOL!

Here are a few before / after shots of our home that we are SO proud of and grateful for:

Next up: let's see if we can get grass to grow!

p.s. Our friend, Ronnie, installed the fence in about three days, and he did a FABULOUS job. We highly recommend First Rate Fence, LLC for all your fencing needs. Ronnie and his team did an excellent job throughout the whole process!

summer highlights | the summer of adventure.

J U N E

Two new-to-us beaches in Florida / Crescent + Cocoa

A cruise with the Bargeron crew aboard the Disney Fantasy

Port stops in Tortola / St. Thomas / Castaway Cay, Bahamas

Annual trek to Table Rock / Year 8

Lots of trips to the pool

A handful of day dates with my man

J U L Y

More trips to the pool

More day dates

A few hikes

Annual Halteron / Calteron each trip /  Surfside Beach

E I G H T H wedding anniversary / Celebrated at Carowinds

A spontaneous trip to ATL with my girl + her boy

My F I F T H trip Haiti / Hope Vision Ministry has my heart

A U G U S T

A day at Lake Hartwell

Birthday celebrations

A spontaneous trip to HHI / our seventh beach since May

A new school year / new school / new grade level for Teesh

A Greenville Drive game

A few final pool days

Dancing in the rain

A new fence

Friends

Oh, summer, how I hate to see you go. I don't know if we can top the season we're leaving behind, so I'm storing it all in my mind (annnnnd on my hard drive) so I can always go back and look at our smiles.

A summer to remember forever!

grill shed | home sweet bargeron.

Projects, projects, projects. We love them! We've had a list of projects we hoped to complete since we first moved into our new house in December of 2016. When we first wrote the list, we joked that we'd probably get to the end of list when it was time to move again; but, here we are just over two years later with more things checked off from that list than we dreamed would be at this point. We are so proud to call this home ours, and we have no plans of moving any time soon - if ever. That makes checking things off our list especially thrilling!

The latest project to be checked off is one that wasn't a "must have" when we first made our list. It wasn't even on it, honestly; our initial dream was to have a haven space in our backyard where we could have bonfires and have friends over, and this project was birthed out of that. Most of the material was gifted to us to get it out of their way, so we spent roughly $60 to make this thing come to life. It pays to have a handy husband and a dad-in-law who checks in, y'all! This took us two days of work, and we still need to stain the wood before it is complete. I started to stain it with the little amount of stain we had leftover from our last project, but only made it about 1/3 of the way through before running out. Disclaimer: I am not a fan of staining or painting, but I do love the finished look.

So, here it is, folks. A one-of-a-kind Teesh-made cover for our grill!

The top is what this space looked like last summer when we first completed the stone pad and added the picnic table, and the bottom is the current view:

Every time we mark off a project on our list, I do a little happy dance! It's so exciting to me to make our house a home, a place where we can rest and enjoy each other company, while also being a place where others can come in and feel like they're home, too.

We still have a few little things we hope to accomplish while TJ is home this summer as well as finish our master list for 2019, and then we'll start saving for a biiiiiiiiiiiig project for next year (that will most likely take all year to complete). After that, most of our list will be done! It's hard to imagine that, but I can hardly wait. Before we made our big mindset change in regards to our finances last year, we never dreamed that we would accomplish so much in such a small time frame. It still amazes me! We used to have hopes and dreams, but now we have a plan. That's all it takes! Well, that and a whole lot of hard work and discipline.

One of the financial podcasts I listen to regularly bases her theme on this quote: You can't do everything, but you can do anything. We have lived that truth out this past year, doing one little "anything" at a time. When one is complete, we move on to the next one. Two years ago, it sounded simple but not realistic for "our stage in life." Today, it's not only realistic but actually being done a little at a time. On our terms, as we are able.

Makes me wanna shout, you guys!

table rock | year eight.

We made our eighth-annual trip up to the summit of Table Rock last week, and we did so the way we first began -- just the two of us. After spending ten days with our kiddos on a dreamy-but-exhausting vacation the week prior, we decided that some time together was just what Teesh and I needed. And it certainly was! Grandma entertained Braxton and Bethany for the day while we went on our adventure, and we soaked in those hours. They loooove Grandma, so they were probably having more fun than we were. Haha!

It took us two hours to climb up, about an hour and a half to climb back down, and spent about forty-five minutes just soaking in the beauty from the top. This is my favorite spot in the whole world, so I always lobby for more time on the rock. You'd think that after eight straight years of tackling this beast, the awe and wonder would be worn off by now but nope! Not with this girl, anyway. Especially when the sky is bright blue, the temperature isn't too hot, and the sun lights the way for us the ability to see for miles and miles and miles. Swoon!

Honestly, we loved this trek so much that we're already considering making it a day date next year, too. We love our children and taking them on outdoor adventures, but there was so much sweetness to just be together with my man. It was a good reminder for us of how important it is for us to continually prioritize time alone. Especially when creation is involved.

Hiking will always be my favorite way to unplug. I'm healthiest physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when I am out on the trails; I always have been. I think I always will be.

Have you ever hiked to the top of Table Rock? If not, you should! If so, isn't it lovely? Not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but worth every huff and puff. We joked on the way up that we should have tackled this beast the week before vacation instead of the week after. We totally blamed the endless ice cream bar on the cruise for our huffin' and puffin'!

roof + front porch | home sweet bargeron.

This share has been a long time in the making, and I am SO excited to reveal it to you now.

Before I do, however, I am convicted to speak about this first: this is what a journey eight years in the making looks like. TJ and I had big hopes and dreams when we first got married in the mid-summer of 2011, and we are just now beginning to see the fruit of many of those seeds we first sowed. One thing that I believe has helped get us to this chapter of our story is simple: contentment. And what's the opposite of contentment? Comparison.

The last thing that I want this to do is compare your story to ours. Mainly because our stories are different because they are meant to be different. Posts like this don't show all the hard work that got us here, the saying "no" to things that would have held us back, the saying "yes" to other things that were uncomfortable and scary, or the patience that was certainly required. So, while I genuinely hope you're excited for us as you look at the pictures below, I also hope that it inspires you to keep chasing whatever dream God has placed in your heart. Even if it takes you eight years to get there!

********

Now, on to our big reveal!

I wrote this nearly two years ago when I shared about our first work days in our new house:

"My first thought when we pulled into the driveway of this particular house after our realtor said we should was, "It's got potential." The yard didn't take my breath away like the inside did, but it did make my eyes light up and channel my creative juices. Potential is exciting, but it is also quite exhausting, to be honest."

That has been our life for the past two and a half years, and we still have work to do. The progress we've made, however, definitely deserves to be celebrated! A big part of getting us to this particular milestone was the major changes we made last year in our family in terms of our finances. I've shared our journey with y'all a lot over the last six months, never so you'll pat us on the back but rather to be a tangible source of encouragement for you as you chase your own dreams. Sure, we had hoped we would be able to make these improvements to our home, but it wasn't until we saw the fruit of being better stewards that it became something we were confident we would accomplish sooner rather than later. True story: we've never been more excited to write one of the biggest checks we've ever written!

It, also, helps having a handy husband who loves to put feet to your dreams. We left the majority of this process to the professionals, but we looked to Home Depot and YouTube to save us about $1,500 by doing the minor things ourselves. Wahoo!

Shall we begin? Here is our house in February 2017, two months after we moved in (note: the bushes were muuuuuch larger once they bloomed later that spring):

This is what our house looked like in February 2019, right before we started our latest project. This is how it looked for about a year and a half, after around two dozen outdoor work days to dig up all the overgrown bushes/brush around the house:

This is after the first phase of our renovation happened in late February 2019. We hired a contractor to 1) remove the small covering over our front door, 2) extend a covering over our porch base (front porch and side porch), and 3) install a new roof. This was Phase One:

This was early March 2019, after Phase Two: the roof was replaced. It changed the entire dynamic of our house, and I am STILL giddy about how amazing the darker shingles made our house look!

And (...drum roll please...) here is Phase Three, aka the finished product as of mid-April 2019. White railings, oh my! Finishing the porch was our (aka TJ's, LOL) big project over spring break, and he did SUCH a great job with everything. We tweaked our plans a few times before we made our final decision, and we are both ECSTATIC with how perfect it turned out!

For all of you who love "Before and After" shots (like me), here is a side-by-side view of what it looked like pre-project and post-project:

I mean, how good did my man do? Yay Teesh!

When we made a list in December of all the things we wanted to accomplish this year, we both agreed that improving our yard and adding more curb appeal to our home was what we most hoped to check off. True story: not once but TWICE last year, people pulled into our driveway because they thought our house was a "rental" and looked "empty." After a gave them both a confused look and rolled my eyes (sorry, not sorry), I confidently told TJ that people need to know that HAPPY PEOPLE LIVE HERE! LOL! Basically, give me alllllllll the curb appeal.

We still have three big things to mark off our list to complete all of our pending outdoor projects, and we've got a tentative plan for all of them. The three major things we have left to accomplish are: 1) fence in the back yard this fall, 2) save for landscaping this year and plant next spring, and 3) begin the process of restoring the old barn/building in our backyard. Our hope is that by the end of next year, we'll have them all done and can kick our feet up for a while to enjoy all of the fruits of our labor! Just in time for our 10th wedding anniversary, Lord willing.

2019 has been a big year for us already, and we are so motivated to replace all of the grey check marks with green ones in our shared note via our iPhones. A couple who dreams together, right? TJ and I are a great team because I am usually the one who believes that we can do amazing things, and he is the one who puts together the best plan for us to attack it. We both love to finish projects, and we're pretty aware of whether or not it's a good time to start something. Our family's motto is simple: team work makes the dream work! And we're definitely living by it.

Stay tuned for what comes next at Home Sweet Bargeron! We are loving every minute of livin' that budget life, y'all. It really is amazing what happens with intentionality and hard work collide!