Thursday, September 30, 2010

I love surprises and one sweet boy.

My fancy is the hardest worker I've ever known. Sure, some people may work harder than he does at any given time, but I can promise you that you could search all over the world and never find anyone who puts his whole heart and soul into every single thing he does like Teesh does. It really blows me away. He even puts all of his heart into the simple things he does, which I think it one of the truest testaments to a person's character.

After mommy, Shannon, and I met with our florist and pianist this morning (both of which are phenomenal, by the way), Teesh came to the house to spend the rest of the afternoon with me. Thursday has turned into our traditional date day since he's in Clemson and I'm in Greenville, so, naturally, Thursdays have become my favorite days of each week. :)

Today was extra-special because not only did I get to squeeze his neck for the first time in a few days, but I also got a surprise when he walked through the door. As if our proposal and engagement party and every day since then (26 days, but who's counting?) haven't been beyond perfection, he took things a step further and made me a photo book of our special day. All thirty pages of it were filled with pictures from the proposal and from the party afterwards. I just keep thinking about all of the planning and preparation he put into making that day the best day I've ever had in my whole life, and how it's been over three weeks since then but he's still finding ways to remind me of how I felt when I saw him down on one knee. I don't deserve a single thing he's done for me, yet he never hesitates to do any of it. He works so hard every day to make sure that I know without a doubt that he loves me. Warm and fuzzy inside doesn't even begin to explain the way he makes me feel day in and day out!

I keep thinking that there's no way I could ever love Teesh anymore than I already do. I keep thinking that I'm going to come down from this "engagement high," as everyone calls it. I keep thinking that I'm going to stop day-dreaming about how perfectly unperfect July 16th, 2011 and every day afterwards is going to be. I keep thinking all of these things, but none of them ever actually happen. He always does something every single day that makes my heart beat fast and I get that goofy grin on my face and I seriously can't wipe it off. I don't know what it is that he does to me, but I do know one thing: I love it more than anything in this world. 

Always and forever may not be long enough for me to love this boy. I don't know if he knows it or not, but I'm pretty crazy about him. :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.

Brian Tracy once said, "Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” Pure. Genius. I think that having a heart that has been trained to be grateful and thankful for everything in your life is one of the best indications of maturity in someone's life. A heart filled with thankfulness, to be honest, is something we forget to pursue quite frequently. It is so easy for us to develop this mindset where we think that everyone and everything owes us something, and we pitch fits and whine and complain until things go our way.

When I was about 12 years old, I used to be the worst when it came to being grateful for things. I'll be the first to admit it. I was hormonal and crazy and [insert inappropriate adjective here], and I thought the world revolved around me. Good thing God snapped me out of that ridiculous stage after a while, but I have made it a daily habit to remind myself of what kind of person I want to be instead of the person I could easily be: that same little bratty 12 year old. I wasn't grateful for my family, my friends, or even for my life, and, in turn, almost lost it all. When I think about those several months that I went through as a girl on the brink of being a teenager, I no longer feel ashamed. I no longer feel filled with regret or try to block out everything that happened. Instead, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for Jesus' mercy and grace and love and forgiveness and so many other things.

Today, I was grateful for a lot. I was grateful to wake up and two things immediately pop into my head: 1) I'm so glad Jesus gave me another day, and 2) man, I love Teesh even more today than that even possible? I love it when I wake up already filled with the Holy Spirit. :)

I was also grateful to pick Freeman up from school again today. We've never really gotten to spend a lot of one-on-one time together over the years. I've always been either in Simpsonville or away at school, and he's always been locked up in his room playing video games. The past month since I've been home, however, we've actually had lots of heart-to-hearts, which I have truly been blessed by. He even asked me to be a chaperone for his class field trip to the Renaissance Festival at the end of October! I mean, who wants their older sister to hang out with them and their friends during school? I guess that means he's finally realizing what a cool sister I am; I've been waiting for him to figure it out for quite some time! ;)

Another thing I was grateful for today was getting to spend time with my future sisters! Sav, Candie, and I went to Applebee's for dinner, and it was absolutely incredible to hang out with them for a few hours. We talked about life and old memories and wedding plans and all sorts of good stuff before leaving to go let Candie take care of some business. And by business, I mean...ladies and gentlemen, Sav and I got to witness our first tattooing of a human: Candie got another one! It was totally random and sporadic and unplanned, but I think that makes for the best memories sometimes. Cannie Ree took it like a champ, too!

When I got home, I walked upstairs to find a box in the floor right inside my room. Candice had sent me a goody all the way from Cali! I tore into that thing like it was Christmas morning, and what did I find inside? My very own pair of white Minnie Mouse ears with a veil--wedding style! Heck yes! Now I have another piece of Cali to embrace when I'm missing the west coast and, more importantly, her! She even had it monogrammed with my name on the back of it. That leads me to yet another thing I was grateful for today...Candice Crawford and her sweet self! I miss that girl so much, but talking to her every several days makes my heart hurt a little less each time. She is one of the most thoughtful, kind, and caring people I've ever met in my whole life. She used to spoil me ALL THE TIME while I was out there with her, and she's still doing it from across the country. She is the BEST. Hands down!

Shannon and I had some time to just sit and chit-chat this evening before we went to bed, too. I sure am grateful for that lady in my life. We laugh and we cry and we watch our shows together and we torture Will together (well, she mostly just watches and lets me do the dirty work) and we just enjoy each other's company any chance we get. I'm so spoiled to have two moms who love me so much, and the last thing I ever want to do is take either one of them for granted...ever.

Tell the people you love how much you really do. Grab every single second and treat it as if it's your last. Don't waste time with regret or shame. Remember how fleeting this life is and make it worth telling about. Close your eyes and dream up something crazy, then make it happen. Be bold. Be daring. Never let the fear of the unknown keep you from taking that next step. Open your heart and teach it to be grateful for both the good and bad times. You've only got one shot. Make it count. :)

"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say "thank you?"  -William A. Ward

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

patience is passion tamed.

I don't know why, but, for some reason, I just really want to be Mrs. Bargeron right now. Like at this very second and for the past, I don't know, three weeks. I think it mostly has to do with going from seeing TJ every single day for years and years and years (even if it was just for five minutes), to going three and a half months without seeing him but just for a couple of days when he came to visit, and now being 45 minutes away from him and only seeing him a couple days a week. That last part is an improvement from being on the opposite side of the country from him, but that doesn't help much when all I want to do it spend every second of every day with him. Even if we're just sitting on the couch, side by side, watching football and the only time we ever make a sound is when there is either a good or bad play. Or talking about our random thoughts. Or just laughing at each other.

I already know what my most favorite part of being married to him is going to be. It's a no-brainer. I am going to love waking up to him every morning, kissing him goodbye before we leave for work, texting each other throughout the day to find out what's for dinner, and laugh out loud when no one's around because I thought of something ridiculous he said the night before. I'm going to love everything about our marriage, even the not so great things, but the best part about being Mrs. Bargeron is going to be getting to come home to my husband every single day. I guarantee that nothing will be better than that. I can't wait to have my first bad day, walk through the door of our home, and feel instantly relieved because I have someone with me who wants to share that load. I also can't wait for when incredible things happens to me, and he's the first person I get to tell. Yep, that'll be my favorite part.

We have been engaged for 24 days now. And, to tell you the truth, these 24 days have honestly been some of the most blessed days I've ever had in my whole life. I've been blown away every single day since September 4th. Seriously...Every. Single. Day. If our engagement is barely three weeks in and we've already received this much favor from the Lord, I can only imagine how incredibly out-of-this-world our marriage is going to be. Ten months doesn't hold a candle to a lifetime, and I am confident that the Lord has some gigantic plans for us. It makes me want to shout for joy and bounce around every time I think about how I get to marry the most humble and strong man of God I've ever met. Really? Is this all just a dream? I keep thinking that I'll wake up, but I never do. Something tells me that I may never wake up and even if I do, I'll still be living the life of my dreams.  :)

Nathan: I'm not strong enough for this. Haley: Yes you are. And when you're not, you have me.

Haley: I love you. I love the person you are and your strength. Nathan: Where do you think I learned it?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

each day is a different one.

In the past seven days, I have been here, there, and everywhere. A lot of driving and visiting and picture-taking and laughing and heart-to-hearts and just all-around fun has been had. Out of the ordinary? Absolutely not. I love how each passing week has some new adventure that I get to be a part of. I love waking up some days with a plan and others not having a clue in the world as to what I'm going to do. Spontaneity is one of my favorite things in the world, and I'm pretty sure that when God thought me to life, he gave me a little more than he gave everyone else. Well, that and an extra dose of joy. I can't tell you why, but I sure am glad that he deemed it necessary.There's just something about making your own path and creating your own way of life that has thrilled me since I was a wee little girl. :)

Although I wasn't able to capture all my favorite moments of this past week in pictures, I did snatch up quite a few. Is it possible for a girl to be a tourist in her hometown? Given the right girl, I'm pretty sure it totally is.

while shopping for his outfits for our engagement pictures, he let me have a little fun. cotton candy is such a good look for you, bay!

beginning our mini-trek to visit some of our favorites in Cullowhee.

playing dress-up in Wal-Mart.

having a river-side chat with my Laur Laur.

surprise lunch with Ellybeth at God's favorite restaurant, Pete's.

dinner at Panera with my best friend not bestie.

oh, Paws, how I missed you so. heaven will be filled with all things fried, I'm sure of it.

had a little fun with the effects on my new camera.

spent with first day of fall on the lake with Teesh, Justin, and Kasey. it was a perfect day.

this is definitely my favorite picture of the week. oh, hey there, God. :)

spent a beautiful (and blistering) day in Columbia with my Court Bourt. my first fashion party and my first Viva la Vista experience!

I can't wait to see what's in store for me this week. It's raining outside right now for the first time in a while, and I'm hoping it will wash away the heat of summer and bring in the cool air of fall. I'd also like to see a few more leaves change their colors this week, but I won't get too ahead of myself. Come what may. :)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

after all, there is something about a wedding gown prettier than in any other gown in the world.

Today was the day I tried on my very first wedding dress. Douglas William Jerrold was right--I felt like the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. The coolest part about it? Just like my very first serious boyfriend is now about to be my husband, the very first wedding dress I tried on is going to be the one I walk down the aisle in. I absolutely love that. It reassures everything that I have always believed to be true: when you know, you just know. No ifs, ands, or buts.

When I was about to put the dress on, I told my consultant that this was my first time. She got super excited, ran out of the dressing room, and came back with a veil and a pair of earrings. She pulled my hair back, fixed the veil just right, zipped up my dress, and said "We had to fix you up, girl! This only happens once!" She made this once in a lifetime experience even more special, and you better believe she got the biggest hug because of it.

Shannon started bawling the moment I stepped out of the dressing room, my eyes filled with tears, I stepped up onto the pedestal, mommy walked in and her jaw dropped, and everyone in the dressing room area stopped what they were doing to watch me twirl around in this dress. You know those scenes in movies where time literally stops and you feel the weight of every second that passes? That was my life today. And it was even better than I ever imagined it would be.

Only 299 more days until my precious Teesh gets to see it. I can't wait to see the look on his face. :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

"you said the basketball hoop was like my uterus?"

Today was quite a day. Not only did I spend the afternoon wedding planning (wahooo!) and job searching (not-so wahoo), make an appointment to try on wedding dresses for the first time (I already have one picked out in my mind! YAY!), and get surprised with hot-now Krispy Kreme donuts (major props to Shannon!), but I also got to spend the evening with my soulmate. The one and only, Melanie Joy Pineros, better known as my P. Sawyer. Because she is such a fabulous friend, she drove all the way from Clemson to Greenville so we could watch the season premier of our favorite show together. Uh-may-zing. I'm tellin' ya'll right now...if you're lucky enough to even know her a little bit, your life is substantially greater just because of that.

This girl continually blesses my socks off and throws joy at me like she's flingin' tomatoes at someone. I say this all the time, but I seriously don't know what I ever did to deserve a friend as genuine and compassionate and all-around irreplaceable as her, but I can promise you that taking her for granted is the last thing I ever want to do. Hales loves her P. Sawyer!

our usual picture. only, this time, P. Sawyer was feeling rebellious.

rockin' her AWESOME new earrings. hoooooootiehoooo!

Shannon, you should have pulled back around the drive-thru and demanded for that missing donut! how dare they! ;)

And speaking of our favorite show, I just have to say this: WAY TO GO, MARK SCHWANN! That was a GENIUS episode and it made me oh-so-happy. ALL of it. My most favoritist part, however, should come as no surprise. In fact, I think it should be everyone's favorite part. YAY for the opening credits! Holy moses, I literally felt my heart expand with warmth and reminiscence when it started playing. Lucas and Peyton were showed in it, and that seriously MADE my LIFE. Now I'm even more excited for all the other opening credits, especially next week's. I can't wait to hear Kate's cover. I have a feeling it will be insane in the membrane. Again I say, way to go, Mark! Because of you, I am one uuuuuuuber happy girl. :-D Here it is again, just in case you missed it. Prepare to get a little choked up.

Welp, there went another terrific Tuesday. Did I mention I'm engaged? Because I AMMMMMM!!!!! I would like to take this time to show off my beautiful proof once more.

somebody pinch me.

Sweet dreams, everyone! Tata for now. :)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

there's something in these hills.

I spent the last three days in Clemson, also known as God's country. I don't know what it is about that place, but joy literally floods my heart every time I get in the car to begin the 45-minute trip south. The people, all the orange, knowing that one of my life's biggest accomplishments came from there, so many of my closest friends living minutes from each other...I think it's a combination of a whole lot of things.

These are just a few moments that were my favorite parts of the weekend. There were, however, way too many to keep track of no matter how hard I tried. :)

milk and chocolate chip cookie dough dates with my Teesh.

roomie reunion! the only thing that would have made this PERFECT is if Mal-o was with us!

our "annual Clemson picture." :) I hope there will be many, many more of these.

I got to see my favorite David Brooks, and it was heavenly.

thank you, Morgan and Rachel, for being my favorite surprise of the day!

more roomie bonding. words can't express how much these girls mean to me. <3

a bunch of tailgatin' fools. my friends are so pretty!

the beautiful Blakely and I are the engaged girls! YAY! our boys did gooooooood. :)

an unexpected run-in with the incredible Barrineaus can brighten anyone's day. we are so thankful for this sweet, sweet family!

I got to see Tess and my best friend not bestie, show off my ring some more, and find out Melly's true feelings about my engagement. I guess this means I have to fire my MOH...again.

no worries, though, guys. we still love each other!

I wonder how many pictures like this I will have before July 16th finally gets here? :)

my handsome fancy and me got to cheer on our Tigers together for the first time as future husband and wife! whoa, that is SO weird to say.

if Sarah Whitley was not created for the sole purpose to make people uuuuuuuuber happy, then she is totally not fulfilling her calling. I love this girl so much!

Melly got to hang out with both of her best friends in one day. rare and refreshing.

this was also added to the "my favorite surprises" list. yay for my fancy and "our time"!

and the weekend started coming to a close with an intense game of Wii bowling, not to mention the role-playing we decided to mix into the madness.

Clemson, you are one of my favorite things to love.

p.s. Happy anniversary to my future sister and brother! It's been one heck of a year for Sav and A-Dub, and they're currently livin' it up at the beach to celebrate it! I love ya'll so much!

Thursday, September 9, 2010


That's right folks, today is the seventh year mark for my Teesh and me. Reminiscing about old memories is one of my most favorite things in the whole world. This year's anniversary has definitely been my favorite one so far, because while I'm looking back on things we've done together over the years, I'm also looking forward to all the things we're going to do in the future.

During this next year, we are going to do a lot of things we've done millions of times, but we're also going to embark on a whole new journey filled with things we've only thought about. Our first home together. Our first time not depending on our parents. Being broke as a joke for, what I'm guessing will be, quite some time. Being able to say that love is and always will be enough. Going out of the country for the first time together. There are so many things that I am so excited for! Our seventh year is definitely going to be our best year yet. :)

ain't he cute?
my faaaaavorite. mmmm!
yes, I am still proudly showing off my bling. YAY!
oh, how I love this boy. :)

Teesh drove all the way from Clemson to spend the afternoon with me in Greenville. Anniversary dinner at Olive Garden? Yes please! Sweet tea, salad with italian dressing, spinach and artichoke dip, chicken parmesan, and my favorite boy. That makes for one spectacular evening.

“The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.” -Hugh Walpole, Sr.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

my life for the past five days.

I haven't slept for more than three hours a night since the night before I became the future Mrs. TJ Bargeron. I've been staying up until two or three in the morning only to crawl in the bed and wake up every ten or so minutes. Each time I wake up, the same thing always happens: my eyes pop open, I ask myself "Am I really getting married?!?!?!", I quickly glance down at my left ring finger just to make sure (proof is important, you know), I answer myself with a "YES!!!!", and then I close my eyes with a ginooooormous smile on my face. Rinse and repeat. Okay, well maybe not the rinse part but definitely the repeat.

For all of you who thought I was an excited person before, you should see me now. I am wide-eyed and bushy-tailed ALL. THE. TIME. And I LOVE it! My favorite part of the whole thing has been Teesh's excitement, though. Every time we talk on the phone (which is, quite frankly, every twenty-ish minutes), he always greets me by saying "Hey! You're my fiancĂ©!" and then continues on to ask me about all the planning I've done.

And on that note, I just have to say that it is SUCH a blessing to be marrying a man who genuinely cares about the wedding. He always tells me that he wants whatever I want (which is what we ladies like to hear), but he doesn't just leave it at that. He wants to know everything. And he's legitimately just as excited as I am! Okay, I lied. There is NO ONE as excited as me right now, but he is definitely the second most excited person. His interest in the planning and preparation stage of the wedding tells me a whoooole lot, but one there's one thing in particular that gives me so much joy: if he's this attentive now, that means he'll just just as (if not more) attentive to our marriage. I'm telling you right now, TJ Bargeron will be the best husband in the entire world. No one will ever love me better than that goofy-grinned giant. And that's something I will never take for granted. :)

step into my office.

why yes, I am only three bullet-points away from being two months ahead of schedule.
just give me a few more weeks and the whole thing will be planned and organized to a t.

fact: it is SO much fun labeling my emails under the "WEDDING!" tab.

p.s. Who can guess what tomorrow is? :)
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