Sleep was not a friend of little miss until she was about eight weeks old. It was really more like an enemy. I would put her down in her crib, where she would immediately start crying screaming, and I’d stand outside of her room crying with her. And praying. Yes, lots and lots of prayers have been lifted since she started fighting sleep as soon as we brought her home, asking God to: first, to calm her when I couldn't, and second, to give us the patience to endure this season of rowdy sleeplessness.
She's nearly fourteen weeks old now, and those sleepless days and nights are mostly gone. This genuinely sleepless season lasted, in total, for about ten weeks. During those ten weeks, I seriously thought I might drop dead from exhaustion at any second (something I'm sure all parents can relate to on some level). And now that I'm on the other side of it, I've got a new perspective on storms, trials, and endurance. I was constantly reminded, by both the Holy Spirit and dear friends, to shift my perspective and view this season in light of eternity. In one of the loneliest seasons I can remember, I've never been more thankful for those few people who constantly checked on me, dropped by unexpectedly with food and a hug, sent me text messages just to say they loved me, and prayed for me and our family. They helped me press on through what felt like a fog of darkness with no end in sight.
Our girl is worth it, she always has been. Yes, I'm thankful to be on the other side of that season, a season which is so brief in light of all the days we will have with her, Lord willing. But in a wacky sort of way, it's bittersweet to move to the next season. Isn't it always?
I used to sneak in watch her big brother sleep all the time, and I'm already doing the same for her. We all endured a lot to transition from restless to rested, so sneak in I will.
I mean, a sleeping babe is pretty much the closest thing to heaven while earthside. Listening to her breathe, watching her tiny tummy rise and fall -- these little moments are the big moments.
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