Thursday, May 18, 2023

hiddenness // mother's day weekend.

 “Hiddenness is God’s way of helping us with this holy detachment, slowly releasing our clutch on ‘the things of earth,’ which we were never intended to grip.” -Sara Hagerty


it feels like the more I give myself to this season, the more my heart breaks and I feel forgotten or overlooked and life gets messier and I have to listen for God’s whisper while the world shouts and I realize just how insignificant I really am and I want to run away from it all and I don’t want to miss any of it and I feel free and I feel afraid and I feel wild and I feel dumb and I feel deeply known by a sacred few and I feel deeply misunderstood by the masses and I just watch while life goes on without me and I resist the urge to fly to a future where hearts are whole, where mine is whole.

if that confuses you, then we can be confused together.


this weekend, though. oh, this weekend. the ocean met me right where I was, as she always does.

and I felt my chest rise and fall with the tide.

and I remembered that we’re going to be okay. that no matter how many times we cry out, God will never run from us or tire of us. He is not quick to make other plans like we humans are.


He comes as the waves do, over and over and over again. always. forever. faithful.

hallelujah.

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