Saturday, March 17, 2018

bethany victoria | four months.

Baby girl, I can't believe you are four months old. Those first few weeks after we brought you home I stayed in a fog, a seemingly endless fog. Now that the fog has lifted, however, I feel like I look back on those long days and extra long nights in disbelief that so many days have already come and gone. I know the days will continue to go by faster as you reach more milestones, and I am hanging on to every single moment with you, making notes about all the memories we're making together. Spring weather is upon us, so we'll be making most of those memories outside for the next seven months, or until the cold runs us back inside again.
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You are still rolling over regularly, but you aren't fighting tummy time anymore quite like you used to. You like tummy time a whole lot more than your big brother ever did (praise hands), but you've just been more exhilarated by rolling over than laying on your belly up until now. You kick your little legs constantly these days, too, no matter if you are on your back or your belly, and you love to clam them into the ground every few minutes. I remember your brother doing this, too, and it always made my jump -- it still makes me jump! You're still stingy with your smiles, but you give loooooots more than you used to. We do some crazy things to get you to crack, and the embarrassment is worth it when you flash us a big ol' grin. We're still waiting for you to start giggling, but I'm hoping that this will be the month. Please, oh, please! You're still sleeping so good for naps and at night (hence the departure from the fog I mentioned earlier), and we just switched up your schedule a few days ago so that you're eating every four hours now instead of three. Hopefully within another month or so, we'll have dropped your dream feed, too. For now, though, I'll take all the sleepy snuggles I can get.
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You went on your first hike last month, and you stayed snuggled close to my chest the whole time. We went back to the same trail that we took Braxton to first, and it was a continuation of a really special tradition. I can't wait to start getting back out on the trails soon, now with two little ones in tow, and I think we will join the flowers and bloom this spring. We've been to a few little play dates and strolls/hikes with our Hike It Baby crew, and it has been so lovely to be reunited with them. You and your brother are blessed with a booming support system on all sides, and that makes my mama heart so grateful.
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We had a special visit with your first mama last month, and your oldest brother came, too! He and Braxton (who call themselves brothers, by the way) entertained each other while your first mama snuggled you and had good conversation with your daddy and me. We genuinely love them, like really, really love them. And we are eternally thankful for how our open adoption has already shaped and changed everyone involved for the better. We have gained so much. And you are so unbelievably loved, sweet girl. I fervently pray for your heart every day as we walk toward the day when you start asking questions. If I'm being honest, I pray for your daddy's heart and my own heart, too, because we want to always communicate things to you the best way we can -- with wisdom, grace, and compassion.
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The most exciting thing that happened this past month is that you officially became our daughter! Hip hip hooray! We had a big crew with us at the courthouse, and everyone was wearing the biggest smiles. Our wonderful attorney (and even better friend), Betsy, was so great during the whole waiting process, and we were beyond honored to have her represent us before the judge. Your guardian ad litem was, also, incredible, and I have hidden her testimony of us in my heart to never be forgotten. She even gifted you a little book that I've already read to you about ten times. And our judge was a sibling of someone we go to church with -- and she was so kind to us. All in all, it was the perfect day. The sun even came out of hiding after days of rain, just for you! Yep, you're that special. The most special little girl I've ever known.
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Just over a year ago, we had just publicly announced that we were beginning our journey to you...before we even knew you. But God knew. He knew that we would meet your first mama just two months later, that we would meet you six months after that, and that you'd steal our hearts at first glance. I did the math a few days ago (yes, MATH!), and at almost the exact day we announced our plans to adopt, you were conceived. How incredible is that!? I got chills all over my body and sobbed like a baby when I realized the timeline. God was so good to perfectly align everything that led up to bringing you home, and I can't help but erupt with endless praises for how He was working for our good, your good, and your first mama's good simultaneously. He saw all of us, and brought us together at the perfect time. AMAZING! I will always tell you about God's great love for you, because I have seen it firsthand. You are our victory banner -- and we will shout your story -- God's story -- to anyone who will hear.
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I'll love you forever, my precious daughter. You will always be a reminder that God can bring hope into hopelessness, and that He can restore brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. I still can't believe you're mine!

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