Saturday, October 23, 2010

if you're a bird, I'm a bird.

Welp, our first session of premarital counseling has officially come and gone. Last night for three hours and again this morning for three more, Teesh and I spent time with twelve other couples in a two-day marriage workshop. Out of everyone there, we were the only engaged couple to be found, which was actually really incredible because we received so much encouragement from them all. Blessing much? Umm, heck to the yes! The outpouring of love and guidance was overwhelming and I am so thankful that we got to be a part of such a woooooonderful kick-off to the rest of our counseling!

Chris and Laura will be in charge of all the counseling from now until the BIG day, and I honestly could not be more excited about it. They have always been such a huge part of our lives, and there really are no two people better suited to help us prepare for this journey we're embarking on. I think the thing that excites me the most about them doing it with/for us is the fact that they have watched us grow up both individually and together. Not many people can say that. "Only 2% of all high school relationships last beyond college" was Chris' favorite reminder to throw at Teesh and me when we were in high school, and I would always come right back with "Well, somebody's got to be in that 2%, and I betcha it'll be us!" Looks like we were both right, huh? :)

Aside from all of the guidance we received this weekend (which was a WHOLE lot, by the way), something happened today that has never happened before. I've seen Teesh cry maybe ten times in the whole seven years we've been together. Needless to say, he's not much of a crier, unlike myself who cries at the drop of a hat. Today, though, we were riding down the road and he wanted me to hear a song off of a new CD he'd just bought. He warned me that I would cry, but assured me that I "would love it because it's sad." Side note: I'm sorry, but since when do I love sad songs?

Annnnnyways, he gave me the background of why the song was written, and as soon as the dadgum music started playing I felt those tears a comin'. He was right, it was definitely a heart-wrencher. I found out I wasn't the only one who felt that way, because about halfway into the song, I looked over at him and his eyes were filled with tears and he was making funny faces to try not to let them fall down his cheek. I stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds, and before I could even get a word out, he held off being choked up long enough to say, "It makes me think of us. I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost you."

Straight out of a fairy tale? Umm, I'm going to go with a big fat YES. And after he said that, what do you think happened next? Yepp, you guessed say that I burst into tears would be an extreme understatement. I wished he would have pulled the car over at that very instant so I could have squeezed his neck until it nearly popped off. I considered climbing over into his lap to give him a hug, but decided that proooobably wasn't the best idea.

I know Teesh loves me and would do anything to make me smile. I've never doubted that either of those. The only times I've ever seen him emotional about our relationship were both the times we broke up. Today, though, something happened that I know I will never forget as long as I live. I saw the hurt in his eyes when he thought about his life without me in it. I felt him grab my hand and squeeze it tighter than he ever has before. I've always felt his love for me, but today I got to see it. I don't think I've ever seen something more beautiful.

"I know there could never have been another. I knew it then and I know it now." -The Notebook

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